


Sooo; Do you like cupcakes?

by Punk_mit_Keks



Category: South Park
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Mental Health Issues, ONS into relationship, One Night Stands, Paranoia, Style is a sideship, Swearing, age gap, alternative universe, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-05-24 05:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6142338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punk_mit_Keks/pseuds/Punk_mit_Keks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Against his principles  and his paranoias protest Tweek sleeps with the stranger Craig he had only just met. Subsequently he finds himself a persistent admirer and if it wasn't for the nine years age gap and his anxietys Tweek might would give into his advances.</p>
<p>Age-gap AU (in which Tweek is 26 and Craig is 17) Yes the first chapter is a smut chapter :)<br/>I won't tag this as underage because age of consent in Colorado is 17.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A tale of hazel

When he felt a tongue brush over his lips, the blonde man instantly opened. Their tongues intertwined and a broad chest pressed against his. The other man walked a step forward and pushed them closer against each other. He scratches his hand over the other man's back while feeling his hips grabbed tight by him. By this hot damn good looking guy named Craig. He then pushed his hands under Craig’s black shirt that was way too tight around his chest showing of his muscles pleasingly. Not pleasingly enough he decided and pulled the shirt up.

They had to stop their kiss and Craig tossed the shirt to the ground. Under other circumstances he would have been annoyed by laundry lying around at his apartment but his mind was captured at Craig’s muscles and the faint hair he had at his chest.

That man was perfect. He was taller than him, had broad shoulders, strong arms and the most beautiful eyes. Dark like a strong coffee in the morning and when he leaned in again the short man let himself get absorbed within the caffeine. The flawless heart shaped lips pressed against his and in hasty breathes Craig took him in. Their lips moved against each other’s, dancing sloppy and wet. He felt heat crawling down his belly and Craig’s hands fumbled his shirts buttons open. It was a bit of work and he used the chance to move his lips above Craig's stubbly jawline and his throat, leaving a trail of pecked kisses, before exploring the gristly texture of his larynx with his teeth. And when he licked it vibrated under his tongues touch with a hum.

This man was so perfect. The blonde felt heavy and his blood boil inside his veins and his skin. His heart thumped against his throat which was tight as if this feat would drown him. He rolled his hips against air too caught up within their action to feel embarrassed. Craig managed to open the last of his buttons, dropping his shirt as well and then whispered huskily into his ear.

"Thomas"

The name was false.

His name was Tweek Richard Tweak, not Thomas whoever.

Nonetheless it sent shivers down his spine and blood into his cheeks. His eyelashes fluttered and he almost regretted he had told him a pseudonym. Even though Craig’s smoky voice made him squirm his words reminded him of why he had used a disguise name in the first place. After all the alluring raven haired who looked at him with parted lips and lowered eyes was a stranger. Tweek didn’t even know if Craig was his real name or if he had used an alias as well.

Normally he wouldn’t do anything as dangerous as this; Taking a stranger to his apartment for the short lasting adrenalin of one easy meaningless fuck. You’d never know what kind of guy you’d gotten yourself. Tweek’s thoughts went to the terrifying turns of events this night could take and felt the heat replaced by toxic cold quicksilver gushing through his veins. A tremor jittered through his spine and shoulders and made his arms hair stand up.

He could die this night.

Slaughtered by a foreigner in his very own flat he had left in on his own accounts. He would be left behind to be founded as withering corpse or worse as fragmented body parts scattered all over Denver. Just why had he taken this guy with him again?

He looked into the gorgeous eyes that were brown as the earth, solid and permanent but warm and nurturing. And they were locked onto him intensely and hypnotized as if he was the entire world to them. He looked at the lovely short bangs of black hair that weren’t neatly flattened around Craig’s head anymore but rustled from Tweek’s hands roaming through them. Craig was already short in breath staring down at him waiting; wanting. Tweek wondered just how his foreign companion could look so sturdy yet lost at the same time. And when his frightened cold veins went all hot again he remembered why he had chosen to ignore his principles for this one night.

He pecked Craig’s lips hastily and then tugged at his hand to gesture he should follow up.

They went the last remaining footsteps to his bedroom and when they entered he pressed the foreigner against the bedroom door and while his mouth found his perfect lips his hand found his trousers fly. And while his mouth moved ardent and messily his hands trembled when opening the button and zipper peeling the bulge out of its first layer of cover. Yet it was still hidden by thin cotton fabric of boxer briefs. He breathed into Craig’s mouth in return for a tongue at his teeth and combed with his hand through Craig’s happy trail suddenly hesitantly. His confidence fled away and his hands shook when brushing over the dent. Craig grunted and balled his hands forcefully at Tweek’s hips pushing him away.

Tweek whined out of surprise and before he knew what happened he lay at his bed and Craig was removing his trousers. It was fast and forcefully, just as frightening as seductive. The stranger’s eyes shot wide when he realized Tweek wasn’t wearing any underpants under his trousers and was now lying naked in front of him, his erection exposed to the cold air and Craig’s eyes. Just as rushed he dropped his own jeans as if to make up for it.

Tweek propped himself up on his arms and watched Craig getting undressed in front of him. He gnawed his lower lip, his thoughts foggy yet still deliberating on how far to go. Craig had hairy legs but they were long and built, as the rest of his body. He wasn’t bulky like an ugly bodybuilder but his muscles were firm outlined through his skin and he definitely didn’t skip leg day. Tweeks head felt dizzy and he wondered if it was the little bit of alcohol he had that night or because of his mate. Of the prospect of what was going to happen between them. What already was happening between them. He suddenly felt the cut of the cold air at his skin that prickled with his anticipation. Just then he locked his eyes at Craig’s erection and his own dick throbbed. His mind was arrested in chains of lust, when he was to have a one night stand than it was go big or go home by now.

Finished with undressing Craig dropped his knee at the free space between Tweeks leg's on the mattress and fell on his hands hovering over Tweek. Both bare and naked revealing their vulnerable spots and knowing from the foreigner in front of them only as much as what they could reach with their hands. What they could grasp and pinpoint only through physical contact, skin on skin. What they would shape into reality through their touches and voices and tongues. What they were willing to give each other. Willing to exchange so they could take one another in and mold together a new reality existing only for the brief moment fate decided to let them collide.

The tension was unbearable and Tweek stretched his neck for another desperate kiss. The agitation in the air mixed up with the unspoken feel of expectation, hunger and fear trembling in the room and was threatening to suffocate them. He heard his own heart beat fast and heavy. Washing away every doubt of right and wrong with the announcement: You’re alive, this is real!

Craig’s penis brushed against his, reminding him they should get covered in protection before any precum could prickle down onto each other’s flesh.

"There’s lube and condoms in the n-n-nightstand" he rasped in between a kiss, slightly ashamed of the stutter.

Craig didn’t seem to bother, he instantly left his mouth and reached out for the nightstand. Tweek bit into his shoulder and sucked in the taste of sun-burns on hot summer days while Craig’s hand was running through his drawer.

Once he was back, their equipment palmed in his hand he asked "how do you want to do it?"

Tweek shivered, he wanted to moan and laugh both at once but instead he sealed their eyes biting down his lower lip. And Craig's pupils were so large, a craving and a thousand questions inside them. However he couldn’t stand the staring battle and had to avert his eyes, let them wander over Craig’s skin in substitute.

God. He needed it. He needed it so damn much. His dick ached to get touched and his entrance contracted by the thought of getting filled. His last proper fuck had been month’, years, ages ago; he didn’t know any more, all he knew was it’s been too long. Though this would change soon and the delight and anticipation made the ache between his legs pulse with the first drop of precum and the thump still loud inside his ear. Craig reached out and wrapped Tweek inside his hand stroking painfully slow. He flinched with a suppressed moan and closed his eyes.

"Thomas" the husky voice dropped like rainfall in a forest.

Still the wrong name yet the bass sent heat into his balls. Craig’s hand moved over Tweek's shaft teasingly and finally one of his hands traveled and reached Craig’s sides stroking up and down and above the edge of his hipbones.

"You want to get fucked?" the raven haired asked into his ear with a warm exhale before he leaned his head back and watched Tweek’s features squirm.

Craig must have read his mind.

His cheeks flushed he nodded and opened his senses taking the erotic of raunchy eyes and sensual lips inside his inner canvas saved up into the archive of his remembrance.

Craig let him go and folded both hands around the lube bottle, probably trying to warm it up. Meanwhile Tweek let his fingers wander the curve of his V-line, finally touching the one night lover’s dick. His fingers caressed its contour, discovered the topography of unnoticeable veins streaming along the only slightly arched length. Explored the shape of its tips beautiful curves and the specific form of his glans. He heard Craig’s breath deepen and a small hum escaping his throat and echoing inside his own chest.

Tweek's fingers got wet from Craig’s first drop of precum and that wasn’t his intention. Even through it was hot as hell Tweek’s fingers were no contaminated with unfamiliar germs. Oh Jesus. He must totally keep in mind not to touch himself during the rest of the night.

He ripped the condoms wrapping open and thought about a break to wash his hands as he had no idea how to unroll that thing with only one hand and its usage would become pointless if he would touch it with his contaminated one. Somehow he managed to unroll it onto Craig’s length without taking a break beforehand, even though it took him longer then usually.

When he was done he felt a hand wander up the backside of his thigh. Tweek was so caught up into his task he didn’t notice Craig’s decision the lubes temperature would be fine. He let himself drop on the bed and released a sigh when lukewarm slick fingers pushed his butt cheeks open. His heart continued hammering loud into his ear and he clenched his hands around firm shoulders that were just as real. Craigs fingers massaged his entrance and they exchanged one shy gaze. They were going to do this now weren’t they?

In one smooth move one finger was inside him and he moaned. Against his fear it didn’t hurt. That must mean he was nervous, yes, but in that good way. In that way that made him thrilled and impatient. He cupped Craig’s face and took him into a kiss. And god damn he loved the way this man kissed. With sloppy movements and a lot of pecks and occassional flicks of his tongue. He felt himself tight and his belly muscles and toes clinch when Craig moved his finger pushing in and out, stretching him and wiggling inside him on the search for the spot that would make Tweek beg for more. That would expose more of his sensuality, of his sinful and dissolute nature their encounter had sparked inside his core.

They breathed into each other and oh boy, the man wouldn’t take his glowing eyes from him. He felt Craig’s arousal growing harder against his thigh when he pushed a second finger into him. And even though he was murmuring the sweetest little noises Craig seemed desperate to find the correct spot.

Tweek started to move his hips. A mouthful of his neck got sucked away and replaced with fiery saliva. In The back of his mind he could make out the worry this could become a hickey but it got swept away when he heard the cutest little sigh from his partner. Craig would sigh and almost whimper after each moan that escaped Tweek's throat, like he liked the noises better than the action. Craig’s other hand slowly wrapped his dick again and Tweek whimpered. With no hand left to hold him, Tweek felt Craig’s whole weight on his chest. It was pressing his lungs down into the mattress and left him breathless. His ragged fingertips were scratching over Craig’s back on the hunt for something to hold onto. Something that would save him from the stinging pain he felt that was drowning in bliss. That would save him from the words that cut into his throat and refused to see the light of day.

Craig already had found that spot like ages ago and Tweek rested his back arched in a good angle all ready to finally get fucked. He moaned and pulled him into a sloppy kiss to hinder himself from begging. His arms reached around him and held his chest into a tight hug. Craig’s fingers brushed by his prostate repeatedly and finally he whimpered Craig’s name.

As he couldn’t stand it any longer he urged, his voice heavy: "Fuck me already!"

His companion propped his hip up supported on his knees and let go Tweek's center to lay his left arm on the mattress beside Tweek instead, which loosened his grip around his chest to let all this happen.

“Say please.” He grinned, entertained to see his partner squirm though short in breath himself.

The short man’s hips twitched and his throat escaped an impatient growl. He wasn’t the type to beg for sex and so he pulled his chest up and pushed their lips into a needy kiss that did the arguing for him. They parted and Craig had to pull his fingers out and Tweek suppressed his sob of the sudden emptiness. Craig poured some lube on his cock before guiding his member with his free hand at the right place between Tweek's cheeks were it rested.

“You haven’t said it yet.” Craig teased but got a demanding stare in return.

“Fuck me!” Tweek repeated.

Adamant green eyes locked at the brown ones and with a grunt Tweek got his will. Finally his hunger got soothed and he felt something hard and fleshy balls deep inside his body. Adrenalin rushed his veins and the drum inside his ears was overheard by his pleased moan and Craig's following directly after. The slits of his mind were flooded with pleasure and he shut his eyes as he gripped Craig’s shoulders tight like they provided him the rescue he needed. They were real and more solid than the pillars bearing the roof of the world. He felt like his touch brought these feelings, these surfaces and the warmth of another creatures being into existence. And them crashing together was the cause and the cure for his pain.

There was no past and no future laying out for them with both of them intertwined but only this one moment blossoming between them and merging them together in this worlds chaos. Only the pleasure they were finding in the places they melted together morphed unfamiliarity into shared bodies and ignorance into devotion.

Though Craig took his beg literally, as fast as he got filled Craig pulled out again and he wanted to growl, then cried instead as the glans’ bow scraped his prostate once more.

God! It felt so good to get fucked. It felt so good to feel this god damn hot man deep inside him, hard and thrilled himself. Too see him with this expression of sweet favored pain, working hard and getting his back and head scratched just to please Tweek.

"Thomas" Craig grunted between his puffs and oh god Tweek regretted he had said a false name.

They had met only two hours earlier. He was at the bar with Stan and Kyle, not his best friends as they were gone to the toilet half an hour ago - meaning they were making out, probably even fucking - leaving him alone at the counter. Tweek had felt a finger tap his shoulder and when he turned around he saw that dude smiling at him. He had brown hair and was young, probably just had his 21th birthday. And he wore a big grin that made him look stupid. You know that kind of dumb smile, only a naive dude who was genuinely happy with himself and his easy going, easy flowing life, would wear.

That’s the kind of smirk he served when he said "Hi! Have you met Craig? He’s a real cupcake."

With those words he gestured at the tall man standing next to him. Tweek was pretty perplexed and except of an confused exhale that was trying to form the word ‘what?’ but came out as something like a wheezed shriek his throat stayed glued shut. He followed the brunettes hand gestures and looked at the just introduced Craig.

However Craig shot an annoyed glance at the guy with that stupid grin which spun on his heel and got lost at the bars crowd before either of them could say anything. With wide eyes Tweek stared at the man who waved him a low "hi" before helping himself to rest on the barstool next to him. Tweek didn’t answer, his chest sore from keeping his breath contained and because Craig looked away after what felt like a good five minute stare battle he finally managed to blink, settling back into normality, or at least trying to.

Shortly after Craig startled him with the next question "what’s your name?"

Apparently that stranger wasn’t finished to try to talk with him and because Tweek was so frightened and surprised he yelled the first name that came into mind. He didn’t clearly know why it was ‘Thomas’ he came up with. Maybe it was because Stan had a new dog called Tommy, or because of the main character in his recently read book that was called after Thomas Edison, he thought about as hella cool. Anyway he was confronted by a stranger and didn’t want to tell his real name. Just in case his irrational worries of getting himself in trouble if he did reveal too many information about himself weren’t just his paranoia but justified doubts. There was yet the possibility for this stranger to use such information as advantage against him, even through Tweek didn't clearly know how he would do that. (It didn’t really matter anymore as ‘Craig’ already knew where he was living.)

“Have you seen the latest Dead Pool trailer? Four seconds close up scene of his nice ass in tights. Finally some fan service for the gay audience, don’t you agree?”

“M-Maybe.”

“I can’t wait for the movie to come! Pun intended. Will you go and see it?”

“I think so, yeah?”

“Action movies aren’t your preference, huh?”

“ah…” Tweek looked to the other corner “I’m fine.”

“How about Star Wars then, or, what do you like?”

“mh... Musicals.”

“Musicals? That's super gay.”

“Well, sorry to break it to you, but you're in a gay bar, talking to a gay guy.”

Tweek grinned and was rewarded with a chuckle from Craig. After their introduction they managed to get a conversation steady. They skipped all that informative, boring stuff as age, profession, origin, relationship status, all not so important. They headed for the strange and nondescriptly topics instead, probably saving Tweek from telling more lies. Fashion choices at musicals made it easy to shift to crab-people and just as easily they discussed Jakovasaurus and visitors landing. How could you possibly come up with those themes?

After his first confusion Tweek calmed down pretty fast, amused and content with their impersonal conversation. When Craig told about the stars and his three guinea pigs Alamak, Mirach and Sirrah Tweek went silent, listening to his steady and sincere voice. He stayed monotone when talking about facts but there was an enthusiastically spark inside his eyes that also lingered somewhere in the extra lines. His gaze was intense and focused on Tweek and it was intimidating and for whatever absurd reason very erotic.

When he asked Tweek to come outside with him for a smoke Tweek obliged despite his disgust for cigarettes. He needed some air as Craig’s looks left him chocking for life giving kisses. Therefor he didn’t fight back when Craig sealed their lips after he had finished his cigarette. The only reason Tweek shoved him away was at the disgusting smell of the tobacco and back inside he took a drink with more alcohol than he usually drank. They did some more talking while penetrating each other with their looks.

Craig was strange; But so was he and he felt home and welcome at the view of mahogany eyes that reminded him of his old book shelves filled with wonders and dreams and the ebony hair that looked as soft as the comfy covers of his sofa and the weird ideas Craig talked about and all that melted together perfectly; as if he was sitting on that couch and shared his summers not only with books, coffee and the creatures of his own fantasy but with Craig as well. And if they were sitting together he could investigate Craig’s mysteries one by one, when gently turning his pages, devouring with relish the most marvelous tale.

Maybe it was that Tweek looked at him just as hypnotized as Craig did, maybe he was just needy, naïve and stupid, and maybe Craig was just too alluring, inviting, suggestive, or the whole situation made it too easy for both of them; he didn’t knew, but when Kyle and Stan came back they found the two dipping their tongues down each other’s throats.

And when Craig asked if he did like cupcakes, Tweek replied they could bake some at his flat.

Here they were, grinding against each other in the most pleasurable way. Craig rolled his hips trusting into Tweek who tried to keep his moans controlled. Craig wasn't contained himself instead let his voice loose and the noises vibrated inside of Tweek directly next to the place Craigs cock pulsated the pleasure into his body. His fingers dug into Craig’s shoulders and he lifted his legs to alter the angle and when Craig placed his hand at his thigh holding his leg up in the air Tweek keened. He stretched his neck and looked between their bodies, his own cock vibrated with the shakes of his hips. Watching Craig’s shaft coming back into his vision just to disappear again and fill up his ass.

“God! Fuck!”

He groaned and let his head fall back onto his pillow, his hands brushing over his face and through his hair he tried to get a hold of himself.

This was really fucking happening.

Craig’s trusts were deep and deliberate, like he had read Tweek's mind again and knew where his soft spots were. Both their breath streamed through the air, rushed and captivated and the adrenaline roamed through his veins and drummed in his ears.

To suppress his moans increasing in volume he bit into the back of his hand , the other hand traveled over Craig’s shoulder to his back. Encouraged from his hands movements Craig lowered his torso and replaced Tweek's gag with his mouth so he would inhale every loud Tweek made. Their kiss was sloppy, unfocused and really wet as Tweek constantly forgot to kiss back and just let Craig move his lips across his, not entirely muffling his moans. Sweat formed at their skin gliding between them and dropping at the sheets. The world turned wet and hot and Tweek’s toes curled.

His partner bit into Tweek's lower lip and sucked at it, earning his attention and Tweek's hand that wasn’t scratching his back cupped his face and devoured him into a passionate dance of tongue and exchange of saliva. His skin prickled and his mind was fogged, his hands felt tingly and were slowly becoming numb. That was the announcement of a good orgasm Tweek desired so badly yet again wanted to hold back so this wouldn’t be over already. Craig groaned and whispered the wrong name again and again and Tweek took him into another kiss because it felt so tight and so mistaken and he couldn’t stand it.

Tweek moved his hips to meet Craig’s thrusts, so close to his orgasm, instead sending his partner over the edge who moaned into Tweek's mouth. With his eyes shut and even the wrinkle between his eyebrows was beautiful, when his features changed from exerted to delighted. The first spark of disappointment Tweek might have felt of not getting his climax with a dick shoved down as deep as physically possible into him - as Craig’s dick was about to become soft just now - got washed away of Craig pumping his penis just as hot and deliberate as his thrusting.

His legs quivered wavering in the air when his mouth got sucked in and a hand stroke over his hipbones up his sides and pinched his nipples. It was when Craig bit into his neck that Tweek finally shot his load all over himself and Craig’s hand. His mind blank and his hands deaf and heavy not feeling the tight grip he hold at Craig's back. Only pleasure and heat shuddered through his body. He moaned another prayer and shivered, not sure if he believed what just had happened. Then Craig flopped down on him, massy and sticky.

They both panted, Tweek's eyes fluttered unfocused on the ceiling and his tingly fingers stroke mechanically through Craig’s hair. While they both calmed down they neither spoke nor moved. The moment too fragile to keep it protected and so obviously they had to ruin it sooner or later yet tried to delay the inevitable.

Tweek shut his eyes and took in a deep breath of Craig’s cologne, sweat and humaneness before opening them and patting his upper arm indicating for him to sit up. They removed the condom, a sudden shyness between them and Tweek took it to the kitchen to throw it away.

As if all of this had never happened.

He washed his hands and cleaned his stomach with a towel before coming back and throwing the towel at Craig for his own usage.

“Can I smoke?” his guest asked while wiping down his hand.

“At the balcony” Tweek offered and then added “wait.”

He went to the kitchen and came back with a saucer and a damp paper towel folded and placed on it as an ashtray substitute. Craig already had his briefs put back on, took it and disappeared to the balcony.

Envious of his guest indulging in his addiction Tweek thought about to make himself a coffee. It was quarter to two in the morning, not the first time he’d drank his favorite beverage directly before going to bed. Nonetheless he restrained. He was satisfied and exhausted; there was a good chance for him to be able to sleep through this night.

Still naked he took the fluffy duvet off the bed and wrapped it around him. His bare foots covered in slippers he joined Craig at the balcony and looked at the tall man only covered in his undergarments, barefooted. His breath puffed white little clouds into the air but they vanished instantly.

“Aren’t you cold?”

“Dude that was _sooo_ hot just now, I’m fine.” Craig looked at him before taking the next drag from his cigarette.

They haven't had snow so far yet the new year wasn't even two weeks old. It was freezing and that guy decided to stay here in his undergarments. It was kind of reckless and also kind of smug. Tweek blushed a little bit. Not out of embarrassment but because of the way Craig stretched that little word and with it his exaggeration. And he decided to be just as reckless as he had been the whole night long and stay, his goosepimples covered in down feathers.

Craig stretched his arm into the sky. "Alamak, Mirach and Sirrah" He pointed at three stars in a relatively straight line.

“Your guinea pigs?”

He looked at him smiling; amazed Tweek remembered those names.

“They are the three brightest stars within the Andromeda constellation.”

When Tweek looked up Craig’s hand gestured at the sky at a straight line of four stars including the three mentioned and a second line parallel to that, both meeting at the fourth star he didn’t name yet. Another line of suns orthogonally to them was also part of the constellation. Tweek wasn’t sure if he identified the correct lights as part of the star sign.

“Why did you choose stars from the Andromeda constellation to name your pets?”

“Maybe it’s the other way around and the stars are named after my guinea pigs.” he smirked and took another drag of his cig.

“The Andromeda Galaxy lies there.” He then stated as if it was obvious, Tweek had already observed how his voice became a bit more nasally when he stated facts. “In around three billion years the Milky Way and Andromeda Galaxies will collide. It will take another billion years but they’ll merge into a new giant elliptical galaxy through galactic cannibalism. Humans will already be extinct then, as our sun will increase in temperature due to its nuclear fusion, making life on earth impossible.” Smoke dispersed from his soft lips into the air. It was as if Tweek could still feel them bruise against his. “So we won’t see the spectacle.”

“Galactic cannibalism?”

“I kid you not, that’s the correct term!”

“You don’t think humans will build colonies somewhere else?” he asked, looking up at the spectacle that wouldn’t happen for the next 3 billion years.

“Like on mars? That wouldn’t save us dude.” Craig hummed, apparently thinking. “Or like travel through space?”

Tweek yawned. He snuggled against Craig and leaned his head against his bicep. He felt Craig shift and an arm wrap around his shoulder.

“Dunno.” He replied tiredly.

“Imagine seeing not only the arm of the Milky Way but the whole Andromeda Galaxy closed up at the night sky.” Craig hummed again. He looked into the sky and Tweek closed his eyes and thought about the small space earth and Craig’s arms and their closeness.

When the cigarette burned out, their skin cold and stiff already, they went back inside, flopped on the bed and Craig cuddled him without hesitation.

Tweek entered sleep easily. His slumber was profound and dreamless.


	2. Strong morning coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurray! It's my birthday (9th march) so I decided to update both of my stories as a present for both you and me :)  
> Comments would be highly appreciated (come on, leave me a present :D)  
> now enjoy :)

It was 7 am when his phone rang the music of lion king ‘Circle of life’. The extended loud singing did a good job to wake him and Tweek rolled over to put off the alarm. He yawned and scratches the sand out of his eye while sitting up. And as so often he thought that he should roll out of bed before the suggestive warmth lured him into staying in bed and missing work.

He was surprised he actually did sleep through. And almost five hours of sleep was also a good amount. Five hours (actually four and a half) meant at least three circles of REM sleep, the minimum to feel awake and be functioning during the whole day. He was yet sleepy though and stayed some longer to stretch his arms and his left elbow plopped. Just then another person propped up next to him and startled him.

“Fuck. Seriously?!”

His eyes were squeezed to slits and a frown on his face displayed his annoyance. If the shock wouldn't have paralyzed Tweek he for sure would have kicked that foreigner out of bed. It took him some blinks and breathing while counting to ten to survive his heart attack. And when the memory of the previous night finally crept into his remembrance from the back of his head he almost felt embarrassed. He had no time to though cause the other man pulled his arm around Tweek pushing them both back into the sheets.

"Dude I’ve got work" Tweek explained and got a grunting noise as reply.

He had forgotten to warn his guest about the small amount of sleep he would get if he was to stay. It was Friday though; he had assumed Craig would have to get up early as well.

Tweek watched the man’s face relax as he was to doze off again. It was the first time Tweek had woken up to a one night stand lying next to him. It wasn’t that those encounters never happened, but before last night they had always stayed within the bar.

Without even thinking about it he ran a hand through Craig’s hair. They yet were strangers and he had almost got a heart attack just a moment back, but those things aside, waking up next to someone was strangely uplifting. As Craig dozed off his hug loosened, giving Tweek the chance to stand up and get ready. He didn’t want to though. And because this would be over soon enough and he felt comfy within the warmth of his bed and strong arms around him he pecked the corner of Craig’s lips.

Then he made to stay up but Craig’s hand captured his face and took him into a kiss that was slow and lazy as Craig was still half asleep. Tweek felt his heart beating inside his throat again.

Real.

This was real.

Even though the tingle at his skin made him shake and it felt outlandish and obscure. Like something not meant for him. Like it wasn't him the previous night, but a movie he had watched.

"I'll make coffee, you want some?"

Craig muffled something unintelligible and Tweek realized it was useless.

"I’ll come back in ten minutes and ask you again. Please stay up then."

He stood up, pulled on black jeans and went to the kitchen to make himself coffee, first thing in the morning, before entering the bathroom where he washed off the connection they had built the previous night. His neck was hickey free to his delight and grief. No traces were left of their shared body beside what was burnt into his remembrance.

Ten minutes later he came back to his bedroom toweling his wet hair. He pulled a white shirt out his wardrobe and woke his guest a second time.

Craig was yet way to sleepy. Tweek gave him his shirt that had been laying on the floor during the whole night and like a zombie he shuffled out of bed and into the bathroom.

Minutes later when he lumbered into the kitchen Tweek was standing at the coffee machine his cup already half empty. Craig leaned against the counter and their eyes met shortly before Tweek's gaze darted at the ground and Craig closed his when he yawned.

Oh god, they have had sex! Tweek clenched his cup of coffee with both hands to suppress biting his nails or pulling at his hair. Oh Jesus, this was so awkward.

"Coffee?" he asked the third time.

Craig’s hair was swirled as if on purpose, out of bed hair and Tweek wondered why the day after sex hair always lay so perfectly. Even his own always rustled mane looked good this morning, yet he had to pin it back with bobby pins for work.

His guest asked for tea or cacao and Tweek roamed through his cupboards happy to finally have something to do to keep his hands occupied. He sat up a pot to heat the milk and pulled a bag of organic cacao out of the back of his cupboard, he only had there because of his friend Butters.

"How did you sleep?" he asked and pressed his lips together. Craig didn’t answer and grunted instead. As if Tweek hadn’t already realized that he wasn’t a morning person.

Well Tweek couldn’t assume other people would consider five hours of sleep a good nighttime. Especially when drinking. Oh well, nonetheless it was only two hours less than a normal nighttime was considered, the normal seven to eight hours and five to six circles of REM sleep a human needed. Seeing five hours of continuous sleep a little victory wasn’t that strange, was it?

"Sorry that you have to stay up so early because of me."

He smiled apologetically and sipped at his coffee, eyes watching the milk to not boil over. Despite Tweek trying his best to be friendly and not a nervous wreck it was still so awkward. Just how were you supposed to act the day after you had sex with a stranger? Tweek didn’t know. Probably the best would be to act normal, but what was considered ‘normal’ anyway? He couldn’t act like Craig was a friend either, because that’s not what they were. Even though they had shared something this intimate, they weren't close by any means of the word.

Craig just shrugged and then changed the topic “Use the microwave, would be faster.”

Apparently he was too tired to even notice there was no microwave in the kitchen.

“Dude that shit causes cancer; no thank you.”

“What?”

Tweek's eyes fluttered and he looked at his guest realizing that he had answered a bit too quickly and revealed things of himself. Things he hadn’t dared to reveal the previous day. That he was a guy with strange quirks like to not use such a daily device as a microwave because of his anxieties. That it wasn't okay for Craig to know about this. The nagging doubt spread at the back of his brain. What if Craig was a murderer after all?

Tweek knew he wasn’t, he absolutely knew his mind was being absurd. However what if– no! No!

“I don’t own a microwave. Stan’s dad got testicle cancer from using it too often.”

“Oh! …okay.”

He watched Craig who’s tired features didn’t change at all during their conversation. He was as flat and unreadable as the previous night and his eyes were dark like the coffee Tweek loved more than anything. The urge to taste the slick bitterness at his tongue was irresistible and he gulped at his beverage realizing it wasn’t the caffeine’s taste his tongue screamed for.

They weren’t friends, no, but then what were they? They weren’t strangers either, not really. They knew things from each other. Intimate things that wouldn’t be understood through explanation but could be grasped only through that strange continues line in which live unfolded. Through touches and time rushing and bodies crashing bearing their souls and sorrow. And even though it was only for the short instant of batting an eye, they had shared an enigma of husky voices and the sensitivity of each others most vulnerable moment. They had built something only the two of them knew about. A concealed and delicate secret.

Yet it felt faded like it had been only a dream and Craig stood in front of him, steady and too real for him to bear. He looked at his almost empty mug and decided this was a morning he would need a second cup of coffee. However first he proceeded to make Craig's beverage, he put in the 100% cacao and a spoon of honey to sweeten it.

“uh– and who is Stan?”

“The black haired I was with yesterday. The other one was Kyle.”

It was okay to reveal so much. Or so he argued with his inner voice. It was okay to reveal the essentials, the topics they had dismissed the night before. They weren’t strangers anymore, they shared a secret. And names weren’t secrets anyway.

“Your friends?”

“Yeah.” he replied and handed over the cup. “Are cereals okay?”

Craig nod and took the beverage to the couch table as Tweek offered. There was no wall between his kitchen and living room, rather the kitchen was a cooking corner and a counter separated the rooms. Yet he didn’t sit down but went to the bookshelves and looked over the titles. His eyes wandered through the room; scale models of buildings were standing here and there and at the couch table lay an unfinished puzzle.

He read the back cover of Tweek's current book and when Tweek brought their bowls he laid it back at the armrest. Craig leaned back at the black couch and Tweek brought his second mug of coffee before he sat down at his armchair. They ate in silence and Craig’s features relaxed when he took the first bite of his breakfast. Eating seemed to wake him up, even though he was yet yawning.

“Good morning.”

Tweek smiled at him and Craig mirrored the gesture.

“Morning.”

Here they sat at Tweek's black couch, in front of mahogany bookshelves, not sharing summers and imagination but breakfast and gracelessness.

Which was a start, wasn’t it?

Craig’s face was so relaxed and he fitted into the scenery of Tweek's living room almost as if it was supposed to be this way. The moment was peaceful and Tweek felt at ease.

Because this; this was definitely meant for him.

“Sorry again for having to – ah – stand up so early because of me.”

"Well I can go home and drop into bed. You need to work, poor you."

Craig gave him a light headed sort-of-smirk and Tweek grinned at that. The zombie regained life, fortunately without succumbing to brain. He even spoke in whole sentences and with less grunting noises now.

"You don’t have work or anywhere you need to be today?" he asked and looked at the clock of his television receiver, they had 15 minutes left.

“My courses on Friday don’t start before noon."

“…what courses?”

“I study astrophysics”

Astrophysics, Tweek should have guessed it, even though he didn’t look like a nerd. That was quite impressive and Tweek concluded he must be really intelligent then. He watched him chow down his cereals and barely touched his own.

“Oh!” Craig chewed a mouthful and twitched his upper lip in an annoyed fashion. “Might can’t fall into bed when coming home, I almost forgot to do that calculation homework, damn.”

“You’ve got a lot to do?”

“It’s okay. You always hear people say the first semesters are the hardest because they want to filter those who wouldn't make it through anyway, but the second semester started just as boring as the first.”

Tweek's breath hitched inside his throat when his mind processed that information. Not the reveal that Craig thought of his study field as easy, which reinforced the idea of his intelligence, but the little information in which semester he was. He already had realized that Craig must be young; maybe around the age of that other dude who introduced them. But when he was in his second semester that must mean he had worked before college or something? Or was he even younger than twentyone?

“So, did you, uhm, work, before college, or something?”

“Huh?”

"How old are you?"

„eighteen in two weeks.“

„You’re seventeen?!“ Tweek practically jumped off the armchair and covered his mouth with his hand. He looked wide eyed at Craig who gave him an unimpressed stare.

Jesus! That was actually a surprise, how come Craig was only seventeen? That was impossible! He was tall and masculine and hairy. And he was so skillful last night. Yet he was still a kid?!

Wait, what? Did he say college? Mustn't he still be in high school?

„Is that a problem?”

Tweek's neck hair stood up and he frowned. It was somewhat hard to believe. Kids nowadays must either be pretty precocious or just really promiscuous. The lump inside his throat soared up again this time making him sick.

What they had done suddenly felt so wrong. It had been wrong because they were strangers, and it had been wrong because it was dangerous and _now_ it was also wrong because it wasn't supposed to ever happen. Because he wasn't allowed to touch Craig in the first place! The age gap was huge. It was actually five years bigger than what he had imagined it would be.

“I thought you were around twentytwo.” Tweek confessed, looking at his puzzle's blue pieces at the desk.

He felt ashamed of himself, of his behavior and of this whole thing that had happened. Of the secret they had shared. And the memory lost all it's glamour. Their shared moment wasn't sacred but forbidden. He was so much older and had himself get seduced by a teenage boy! Craig was only fucking seventeen years old!

“Well, I'm not” Craig shrugged, “Does it matter? I don’t lack experience and you didn’t seemed disappointed yesterday, or were you?”

“No – ehr, that’s not the point! What we did was not okay, I was fucking a m-minor.”

Tweek chewed his nails while he looked desperately around his living room. The previous night he thought he might have let a murderer in, but now _he_ was the bad guy, the pedophile fucking with a teenager. Oh God! The peaceful morning was ruined. He was supposed to behave like an adult. Responsible. Yet he fucked up again.

Craig huffed.

“Actually I was fucking you” he smirked and Tweek felt a blush crawl at his cheeks. He ran one hand over his face, smearing it down. A pitiful attempt to hide from the world.

“Dude, sit down. It’s okay, I’m not a minor” Craig continued, “Age of consent in Colorado is seventeen, so we’re legal. Where’s the problem?! Didn’t you fuck around with seventeen?”

Tweek groaned and his cheeks became hot. He tried to ignore it, tried to ignore the comment and the memory of their night.

No, he didn’t have sex with seventeen; his first time was when he was nineteen. Yet of course he understood the point Craig was making, even though he didn’t feel better by that. Not at all.

“How did you even get into the bar?”

When Tweek finally dropped he came to sit at the edge of his seat. He removed his hand from his face and grabbed for his mug. Coffee would help against the shock. And picking his nailbeds did, too.

“What are you, the police?!” He looked at Tweek and then answered anyway. “We used false ID’s, Clyde and I.”

A long gulp of his mocha ran down his throat and Tweek sighed of the comforting warmth. When he looked into the cup he saw the white bottom and one last drop of dark beverage.

Oh sweet Jesus. An empty cup was least helpful right now. And it was his second coffee this morning already.

“What were you doing there anyway? You’re still a kid.”

“Stop calling me a kid, Thomas!”

Tweek cringed by the wrong name, recognizing something he had forgotten till now. A secret he hadn’t shared. Names weren’t supposed to be secrets, were they?

“Fuck, I wasn’t even drinking, okay? I was just curious what a gay bar looked like; you think I wait three years to find out? And, you know, I’m _sooo_ happy with whom I have found there.”

“What do you mean?” Tweek's eyelashes fluttered, Craig had emphasized that one word the same way he did last night. He already knew what Craig was talking about.

“I mean we can bake some cupcakes any time you want.” he grinned.

“This was only a one night stand.” His cheeks still hot Tweek looked at his empty cup. The last drop reminding him of those eyes. How was he supposed to ever drink coffee again without thinking of him? His hands trembled a bit and his mouth was thirsty.

„I liked last night. We could repeat that.“

“Dude, I’m twentysix!”

„Okay“ Craig shrugged, as if it was of no importance, he seemed not at all troubled by their age gap.

“We are nine years apart.”

“Eight” Craig corrected him.

"I’m late for work." Tweek stood up and brought his cup and yet half-filled bowl to the kitchen. It was the end of their discussion, or so he hoped.

"I liked last night."

“Get your things, we have to leave!"

It took a couple more minutes before they left the apartment and when Tweek locked the door Craig whispered into his ear.

“How about one last kiss then, Thomas?”

The wrong name made him hiss again. Craig’s voice was raspy as it had been the previous night and it wasn’t his fault the name was wrong, yet it saved Tweek from letting himself give in to the offer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I have you all hooked up after the sex scene I can break it to you: this is actually a slowburn, muahahaha *goes away and laughs devilishly*
> 
> *edit: thanks for everyone in the comments helping me with the USA college system :)


	3. Stupid plot twist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for everyone who helped me to get an understanding of US College Systems :)  
> And Thx for all the Kudos and the amount of feedback so far <3 you're all very lovely
> 
> Tbh I'm hella insecure about this but I also didn't want to let you wait any longer for this cause I most likely won't change my plan of action anyway, so yeah, enjoy :)

At work Tweek worried about his door being locked as he hadn’t checked twice like he did usually. Then he worried about Craig knowing his address, about Craig coming back to his place and turn out to be a murderer after all in the end.

Stupid plot twist.

After convincing himself something as irrational wouldn’t happen even though real life was way stranger than fiction sometimes, his thoughts questioned why he hadn’t noticed Craig’s young age before. This alluring man was nothing but a kid with way too many hormones. His breath shuddered when he thought Craig could appear at his place to ‘bake some cupcakes’. And he wasn't sure if it was out of protest or consent.

Oh Jesus, why did this happen?

Tweek's mind was captured the whole workday. He must have been really desperate to get seduced by a minor. The recognition why he normally didn’t do one night stands hit him into the guts. He couldn’t handle the aftermath, the longing, the self-detestation and the paranoia.

He got a text from Kyle asking if he liked the cupcakes they had made. That metaphor damn sure made his hands tingly again. Tweek wasn’t sure how to answer yet Kyle caring about him was highly appreciated. It meant Kyle was aware of the dangers of taking a stranger home and he wanted to check in if Tweek was okay. If he still was alive. The thought that his friend would have found his corpse before the first flies would get to lay their eggs at him, as Kyle would have checked for him, was reassuring. It took him a while but he replied that the night had been okay before his friend would have to send a second text.

Workday went by and it was around six pm when Tweek came back home to his empty, cold flat that had been securely locked and got locked back instantly after he slipped in. He checked every room to make sure it was in the same condition as it had been when he left before he realized the mug Craig had used that morning still standing at the couch desk and the ghost of his lips brushed over Tweek's, leaving them tingly and his cheeks warm.

The sex had been nice, but it’s been nothing more than a one night stand he told himself, so he had no need to get emotional over it. He took the cup and without second guessing washed it. Over the years he had learned to clean up promptly and he came to like his apartment neat and tidy and everything on its designated place.

Like most evenings he cooked himself an easy but more or less healthy meal and watched a DVD while eating. His inner voices of worried what-ifs demanded him to check several times if his flat was empty. To check that there was no other person hidden in his bath or somewhere else in his flat. He made sure the balcony door was securely shut and his front door locked. He checked each time he stood up to get another cup of coffee or use the toilet if someone was hiding in his bedroom or behind the counter.

He would check this stuff even if Craig didn’t knew his address but now he was extra cautious. Tweek sort of expected any moment his door to rang even though Craig didn’t knew his last name and therefor wouldn’t know which bell to ring as it was a big building with several flats.

At midnight he went to bed and lay in the darkness, swallowed by the expanding emptiness of his mattress, that was as empty as his flat. This place under his covers was actually too big for one person alone and with that realization it wasn't the only place that felt empty.

Like so often he turned from one side to the other but sleep didn’t care for his exhaustion and wasn’t his friend that night. So instead he found himself at his couch working at that puzzle at one am in the morning. He avoided to look up at his mahogany bookshelves and finished that puzzle within that night before crashing into bed for two and a half hours of sleep.

The next day passed by in a similar fashion and he tried his best to push the thoughts of that man, no, of that kid, aside.

Back home he took a nap in the evening to catch up on the sleep he had missed during night. For some reason entering sleep for a short nap was always easier than during the dark. The night was made for sleep and therefor demanded for sleep. Everyone else was asleep at night and society pressured him to follow their lead. This was a pressure he wasn't able to deal with as his mind just never shut up. Especially not in the desolated darkness of his empty bed.

On the contrary when lying on his couch in the evening there was no pressure to fall asleep, and no pressure to wake up at a specified time. And the comfort this place provided, the illusion of company the little noises from his TV gave him and the smell of coffee straying to him from his couch desk were the most relaxing and lured him to give into fatigue better than any lullaby.

Around midnight after he had woken from his nap he opted to read his book and was surprised when he opened it. He often used random slices of paper as book marks, this time it was an old grocery list. There was a note on that list he hadn’t written himself.

'Date?' It asked and a phone number was written next to it.

Tweek's breathe ragged and he was about to freak out of the simple question of who had left that note?! He looked around the room and, of course, found it empty.

He looked back at that note and then he realized there was a name written under the number. The note was from the guest he had two days ago.

Craig.

He hadn’t read that book yesterday and so he noticed only now.

Tweek chewed his nails. Craig must have left that note somehow during the morning. Maybe even in those short minutes before they left the flat.

He stared at the paper, and those numbers stared back at him. Craig's words on that day only implied a second night together, but his note stated 'date'.

Date.

Did he mean like a date date? Or just a date to fuck?

The image of hazel eyes and heart shaped lips flickered through his mind. And a disgusting taste covered his tongue. Well of course the fucking was nice, Craig was nice, but the thought of their age gap tasted ugly.

Actually that dude was perfect in so many ways and if it wasn’t nine years Tweek wouldn’t mind a second night. He wouldn’t mind an actual date. Why couldn’t he at least be a legal twenty-one year old adult, god damn it?

No way could he call him.

No way could he use that sheet of paper as bookmark furthermore. He went to his bookshelve, somewhere there for sure was a bought bookmark, one he had gotten as a present, that was made with the purpose to mark pages in between covers.

He found a bookmark and then not sure what to do with the note he flipped it at the last page of his book, forgotten for now.

The next day it was the last day of his weekend shift at the coffee shop and it went by slowly and in the same monotone blur as everything else in life. Again no one else was in his flat and no one at his door. It was almost sad how he sat at his couch in silent nothings and the whispers his mind read to him from the book were his only company. He could be glad that Craig hadn't appeared at his flat like a stalker as he had feared, yet the anticipation that it _could_ happen made him hear things that weren't there and look up from the book just to affirm the emptiness around him.

When he finished his book and found that note at the last page once again he became restless. The weird thing was that he didn't know any more how to feel. How was he supposed to feel in this kind of situation? Craig’s phone number was once again staring up at him with a rather bold demand. He looked at his mahogany book shelves and wondered what stories would be hidden beneath the covers of sturdiness Craig presented himself in. He also wondered if shared breakfast and awkwardness might were better than adventurous stories read to himself during sleepless nights. At least it had been real. It felt like meant for him.

He found himself chewing his nails again, conflicted.

And when he convinced himself the sex wasn’t worth it and Craig was just a kid, he thought there was nothing fantastic hidden between his wrappers.

So there was no need to keep his number.

 

***

 

It was a busy Thursday when Tweek turned to one of the booth to greet the new customers but then stopped in his tracks because of course there happened a stupid plot twist and he encountered two familiar faces. A brunette dudes eyes brightened with recognition and he was wearing the biggest idiot smile possible. Next to him sat a man whose mahogany eyes were widened in disbelieve, his mouth gaping. Black bangs stuck out under his blue hat and Tweek's shoulders twitched while his eyes widened as well.

It was Craig.

The hat with those strange ear flaps made him look younger and Tweek reminded himself it didn’t made him look younger but the age he truly had. Two weeks had passed without any contact and let Tweek get back to the continuous blank line of his daily routine. It had been enough time to free Craig from the accusation to be a stalker. Meeting him here at his workplace so suddenly however made it hard to believe it wasn’t a conspiracy against him. An absurd joke the universe, no, Craig smashed at his face. After all Craig hadn't stop to invade Tweek's thoughts in those moments when he let his guard down and his mind wander.

“Hi, hot stuff! Could we get a coffee and two hot chocolates?” the dude with the idiot smile asked and Tweek realized he had been staring. And he just got hit on.

“Ehr– of course.”

“And a cupcake, if possible with candles, it’s our _cupcakes_ birthday!” he grinned and nodded his head at Craig. His friend shot him a similar look he had done at the bar though Tweek thought he saw a slight blush at his cheeks this time.

“Oh, congratulation! Can I get you anything else?” Tweek asked as professional as he could manage, yet his voice felt strangled. Craig found his workplace, what if he was after him after all?

“Three Turkey Sandwiches, please.” the third guy within their group replied. He was an Afro-American and was somewhat reserved; an interesting contrast to that extroverted dude that had placed their first order. He wasn't within their company at that bar two weeks ago, yet his face looked familiar as well. Presumably Tweek had seen him as a customer before.

Tweek nod and turned them his back slowly. He kept them in his eye corner, not trusting their intentions. And of course his nails found their way between his teeth, even though he stopped them when his coworker Christophe gave him a side glance. Running his hand through his hair instead wasn't an option either as the bobby pins were in the way.

Ten minutes later he returned with their order.

“Happy Birthday!” he said when he lighted the candle and placed the cupcake in front of Craig. The other boys joined his congratulation but Craig was looking at him the whole time and Tweek felt at the edge with cold shivers running down his spine.

“Tweek R. Tweak.”

The so called man jerked in surprise. Eventually he realized Craig was looking at his name badge and groaned frustrated. His extroverted friend started laughing when he saw the badge and their third companion just looked up from his iPhone. Oh god, Tweek wished for the ground under him to break open and just swallow him.

“Tweek” Craig repeated “That’s a pretty cute name; it rolls off the tongue really easily.”

His eyes locked with Tweek's and he saw the same longing he had seen two weeks prior. The same strength within promised him beautiful mysteries to be hidden behind the opaque. Oh, and he had just said ‘cute’ to a dude that was fucking nine years older than him. His cheeks went hot and the whole situation just got more humiliating.

“Tweek” he whispered in the raspy voice he had used during that one night. The one a lover had when his whole world was reduced to only that one name. Tweek felt the goosebumps trembling over his neck and his eyelids fluttered. The memory of their night came back to his mind more vivid than ever before and he almost whined to finally hear him murmur the correct name.

“W-Well, have a n-nice birthday.” Tweek stuttered and got back to work. His legs trembled, he felt like a freshly born deer not ready to face the world and its judgment. Apparently he was nervous enough to even stutter. Oh sweet Jesus.

He had dismissed Stan’s invitations throughout the week to visit the bar and was planning to avoid it for a while to evade the possibility to see Craig there. Yet somehow the kid managed to find his workplace.

His blush persisted throughout the group stayed at the shop. He catered some customers and his skin prickled and he thought it must be from Craig’s eyes staring at him. At least he felt watched, more than he did usually and avoided to look back at their booth.

Yet he wanted to look at them, he needed evidence he wasn’t paranoid here as the eyes scratching his skin were for real wandering over him and not just in his imagination.

Finally he gave into the urge and looked at their booth. He saw that extroverted dude more happy than Craig was when he bit into his birthday cupcake, but Craig wasn't that expressive anyway. Tweek's skin and mind had been lying; they weren't spying at him but completely engaged into their conversation. Just when relief relaxed Tweek's tensed shoulders Craig turned his head and looked at him. When their eyes met a smile formed on Craig's lips and Tweek turned around on his heel way too fast.

Stiffened he shuffled around the desks. The feel of eyes digging into him was nerve wracking and he hoped he could get back to his worries about his door being locked instead of worrying about that group of customers soon. Because he couldn’t bite his nails at his workplace he gnawed his lower lip instead. He needed to calm down and told himself oh so many reasons on why he had no reason to be nervous at all but it didn't help.

He endured Christophe's ramble in his french accent when he tried to hide in the kitchen. Yet he had no real chance to evade them, it was late afternoon, around two hours of his shift were left and he already took his break. He heard annoyed grunting from the customers who lined up in front of the empty counter. He was forced to get back to the café.

It took another nerve wracking while but eventually he saw the extroverted guy wave at him, the third companion put his jacket back on and their expressions and the whole atmosphere indicated they wanted to leave. Tweek felt better, yet it wasn’t over already. He yet had to cash them up.

“Did you enjoy your m-meal?” Tweek asked when he approached them, angry at himself for the stutter.

“Yes, thanks.” The third companion answered “We’d like to pay.”

Oh gosh, thank you. What relieve they would finally leave him back to his normal everyday worries.

“Did you find his note?” the brunette grinned “Craig whined the whole time long ‘Why doesn’t he call me’. So?”

Tweek widened his eyes, frozen in place except his lower lip between his teeth. And he bit into it because he didn't exactly know what to say. Craig bumped his elbow into his friends side his face creased like he was angry.

“Hey dude, I’m on your side.”

“Shut up Clyde!”

“Maybe he simply didn’t found your note?! How about you leave your number again?”

Craig’s cheeks were rosy and his eyes fixated at the desk. He wasn't angry, he was obviously flustered and Tweek bit his lip even harder of the thought that he looked cute.

He wanted to take some steps back and escape the whole scene. This was way too much pressure.

Though their serene friend asked him about the expense and so he was forced to stay and do his fucking job. He looked at his notepad and calculated what they had to pay before he remembered that it was written at the bill and he didn't have to calculate it himself. Stupid. It took way longer than it should but somehow he managed to stumble out the answer. Then the guy in front of him put out his wallet.

“Thanks man!” Clyde said when he saw his friend paying for all of them.

“You owe me! I’m only paying for Craig, since its his birthday.”

Clyde grumbled and Craig thanked him and Tweek managed to catch his name when he put the money back, it was Token.

“How about you leave your phone number now?” Clyde addressed again and before Craig had a chance to answer he turned to Tweek, “Look at him, I said he's a cupcake; you want to call him. You _need_ his number, don't you agree?!”

Tweek shut his mouth, because he honestly didn't know how to react at this. One voice in his head claimed Clyde was right, but how was he supposed to admit to this? Eyes wide like a deer in headlights and he practically saw the car accident coming ahead; this was going to be terrible. Finally he shook his head and hid behind the notepad.

God, how old was he, six? The most embarrassing child stuck in a grown ass body.

He heard Clyde laugh. Tweek knew his body language and answer didn't match together yet he kept his eyes shut hoping for them to leave. Just fucking leave and let him be miserable with his life decisions.

He felt those eyes at him again, god!

When he heard the rustle of clothes he had to open his eyes as to not stand in their way. He kept hidden behind his notepad and mumbled “Thanks for your stay” when the group left.

 

***

Craig's POV

 

“Oh my god. This guy is a cutie pie! How old is he you said?” Clyde practically yelled when they left the coffee shop and Craig didn't stop walking so they wouldn't linger around the shop's entrance longer than necessary.

Craig yet felt the warmth in his cheeks and his heavy beating heart. Damn, he managed to flirt so smooth two weeks ago but seeing this guy here so unexpected threw him out of his tracks.

Why was he just so fucking adorable?

He fumbled a package of cigarettes out of his jeans back pocket and lit one before he answered.

“Twenty-six.”

“I don't believe you one word!”

“That what he said.”

“He also said his name was Thomas.”

“Yes, but why would he lie about his age? He looks like he's in his mid-twenty's though.” Craig shrugged. There was no point in discussing this anyway.

“Somehow this makes him even cuter. That name though, Tweek, do you remember Tweek Bros.? Think they're related?”

That name really was weird though, no wonder he had said a pseudonym. Even through it didn't quite align with Craig why he didn't use his second name R-something for that purpose. The name was weird, but Craig meant what he had said, it was cute. It was a weird name fitting for a weird guy. And it was so much better than to get mocked from his friends for apparently having not only a thing for blondes but also for that other name.

He took a moment to think before he answered. “Then why does he work at Little Owl Coffee in Denver and not Tweek Bros. in South Park?”

“Dunno, just a thought.” Clyde shrugged defensive and then bumped Craig into his shoulder “You're so lucky!”

Craig furrowed his brows at him and flipped him off.

“I'm not. He didn't call me and he shook his head just now. He's not interested.”

Fuck. His chest ached. It had been two weeks and he didn't even really know him, why wasn't he over that man yet? Probably for the same reason he had liked him when he saw him for the very first time in that bar three weeks ago.

He had sat at the counter with his two friends and was so handsome. He was looking around and seemed nervous like he was super aware of all his surroundings. Each time his friends nudged him he jerked like a surprised little guinea pig.

He captured Craig's attention the very first moment Craig had noticed him and he was mesmerized in Tweek's curls that shone golden in the lights and his attentive movements when he wrapped his slim fingers around his glass and brought it to his small lips. Craig's knees got weak and he was nervous with clam sweaty hands. He had felt that way once before yet it was strange and so uncharacteristic for him that it made him unable to think or speak.

Craig couldn't shake the image of him out of his head and one week later when there was this big chance as that handsome man was alone when he sat at the counter and Craig was nervous but excited it wasn't him who made the first move but Clyde. If he was a better friend he would thank Clyde, if he was another person he would even fall down on his knees to thank his best friend to be the best wingman ever. However, he wasn't and Clyde's achievements weren't acknowledged.

This wasn't about Clyde, it was about that guy Tweek. About how every time he thought about that man his chest felt tight. How those cute little gasps he made between his sentences echoed in Craig's head. And the memory of his skin burning hot under Craig's grip and his voice breaking between his panting. It was clear that one night wasn't enough, would never be enough and Craig's frantic chore rotated inside him roaring for more, for everything. Everything two people were able to give each other.

And the suspense hurt when one day after the other went by without getting a call. Without seeing him at the bar. Knowing their awkward morning after would be the last time he had met him and the declined kiss their last interaction.

He was pretty sure that Tweek had found his note and didn't call him on purpose. Goddammit, the thought really stung.

Dang, what he felt was more than simple sexual attraction. Craig's next drag from his cigarette was longer than usually, inhaling as much as possible and keeping it in his lungs.

They had walked their way towards the parking location were Tokens car was situated and he used his remote to unlock it.

Clyde gave Craig a mischievous grin and wiggled his eyebrows before he took his seat in the back. Craig took a last drag before he stomped at the cigarettes end and dropped in the passenger seat.

“What?!”

“He lii~kes youu~”

“No?!”

“He was all flustered and nervous! He shook his head because he was too embarrassed to admit it!”

“Why would he be embarrassed?”

“Because he's super shy! Think about it; he needed five minutes to calm down when I first introduced you. Oh my god, I can't believe we met him at Little Owl! On your birthday! I mean, really?! This is fate, dude! It's like a birthday present from the universe!”

“Shut up Clyde!”

Token started the car and a moment they were silent.

Though Clyde was right in one point, it was a huge coincidence to meet that guy in the coffee shop Token had recommended for them to visit because of the glorious turkey sandwiches they served. Token wasn't going with them to that bar, he didn't know what Craig's crush looked like, so he would never have recognized Tweek to lure them there on purpose. And Clyde was right in another thing, Tweek was a fucking cutie pie.

Just like two weeks ago the way Tweek's long lashes fluttered and the way he tucked his lip under his teeth made Craig's skin tingle. And every time he looked at Tweek his mouth wrinkled up in a bright smile that was just as uncharacteristic for him as all the other things Tweek made him feel. His taut chest filled with delight that he was able to see him again and again a smile formed on his lips when his imagination repeated Tweek's flustered face and eyes darting around.

“Wanna hang out at my place?” Token asked.

“Jup.” Clyde answered and then talked with Craig again “He's just embarrassed, he absolutely likes you back! I hope you used your birthday wish wisely when blowing out the candle.”

Craig rolled his eyes at that.

“Token what do you say?”

“That you're a bunch of fags.”

“Yeah, tell me something I don't know. Back me up, dude! What do you say involving Tweek and Craig?”

Token looked expressionless while thinking and then addressed Craig with a smile “go for it!” before readjusting his attention at the road.

Clyde grinned wide. He had different kinds of idiot smiles and this one was his smile that he was super proud of himself because someone approved him.

Craig sighed. When even Token meant he had a chance, than maybe it was true. Without him noticing his mouth curled into a smile.


	4. Insomnia is a bitch

Tweek's POV

 

Tweek's headache exploded on his forehead and the shredded bits of his brain scratched at his skull and spread the pain into every direction. He felt like shit and forgot to count the aspirins that dropped out the bottle into his palm (were it four? A dozen?) before he swallowed them. Therefor he forbid himself to take more for another four hours, so he wouldn't take an overdose.

It didn't help though as his head drummed and hurt. His heavy eyelashes hooded his vision and every next customer was one too much. Fatigue clung at his muscles and made them weak. Moving was so foreign, his arms were like cooked noodles and his ears covered with that snow picture when the television screen had no signal. His legs were creamy and the connection between his senses and his mind was clustered with fog thick enough to be cut with a knife and the connection from his brain to his body's movements was disconnected like a tree had fallen during last nights storm and cut the power off.

He yawned every spare moment that wasn't clustered with the weary effort to keep his sluggish figure from dropping down and fall into unconsciousness. Sleep, his body demanded for sleep.

The night had been too long. Unintentional long as he hadn't sit at his desk solving puzzles. Nor had he read his books or watched too many operas. He had simply laid in bed. Alone and awake.

Awake.

That's the key word in that statement. Not one single minute of sleep had the mercy to redeem him. Normally in that case he stood up and did something; staying in bed when not finding sleep wasn't recommended when having Insomnia. This time he stayed and got swallowed by the darkness and his thoughts that kept circling around Craig.

Each other person would know him appearing at his workplace was only coincidence. Not Tweek though. And his mind mulled over and over of what had happened and the possibilities of how it happened and why it happened until it came up with the explanation that Craig must be a stalker after all. The idea got even more reasonable when he imagined how Craig did research to find out about him. Maybe he had talked to Stan and Kyle at the bar and oh god, maybe names should be secrets after all!

Maybe Craig had waited in front of his door and followed him to his workplace? Maybe he had bugged Tweek's room during the night, or he had hacked into the governments computers and read their data about Tweek. The later into the night the hours became the more irrational became his thoughts.

It was his own fault for letting Craig into his apartment, for giving him information. For sharing a secret that was meant to be hidden away from the world under blankets and in paper towels, isolated and forsaken then thrown away and never mentioned again.

His mind couldn't decide which was the worst part, the plot twist of Craig suddenly appearing so he had to worry once again about his safety, or the way he had humiliated himself with his embarrassing behavior. Like fuck, he was a grown man, he should have simply stated his opinion.

'No.'

Easy as that.

Yet he couldn't. He couldn't because Craig had been cute.

And now that stalker was once again stalking his thoughts and snitching his sleep. After a whole worry filled night Tweek was in that zombie condition, slow and inhuman. He was used to one or two sleepless nights per week. But not when the nights before had been just as short with containing only two or three hours of slumber and double shifts that didn't allow for his evening naps.

All the power remained in him were used to keep him conscious and functioning. On top of that he had work to get done, had to hear the orders correctly, and then even serve them! And it was only the first half of his shift, only ten am yet, Jesus fucking Christ.

At least it was Friday and this weekend he had no shift. The first free weekend that month. Well he could say that year as it yet was the end of January.

To his utmost horror that kid appeared at his workplace again, this time alone. And Tweek blinked with rising discomfort when Craig sat himself at a booth that was in a straight line to the counter. From that position he had a good view at Tweek's workplace. Also a good view at Tweek's weary eyes that yet tried to evaluate reality. He wore that blue chullo again that had yellow pompoms on its top part and attached to those strings at the ear-flaps and he looked at Tweek and only at Tweek.

Tweek shrieked of the eye contact. His heavy eyelids abruptly managed to stay open on their own when he suddenly realized the circumstance he was in once again. His body mustered enough adrenaline to alert him into a more wake condition.

“Bebe!” he whispered to his workmate, but it was more of a high pitched shriek, “Bebe, I need your help!”

The addressed women peeked out of the window that connected the area behind the counter with the kitchen. She had her long blonde locks pulled up into a pony tail. Her hair was just as thick as Tweek's and she mirrored his fashion with wearing some bobby pins to keep the bangs too short for her tail out of the way.

“What?”

“Bebe you need to find out for me if he’s going to kill me.”

“What?!” her voice sounded pretty confused, very different to the bored one she used just before.

“You need to be subtle! You can’t just go there and ask him directly, cause than he’ll know that I know and then he’ll be lying and I’m never going to find out until its too late! Oh God! Please, you need to be subtle!”

“Calm you tits Tweek. Breath.”

A frustrated groan escaped his throat. Craig's eyes were yet trained at him and Tweek breathed and counted to calm down. He didn't made it to ten, 'till four had to be enough at the time.

“Look, that guy with the blue hat; he's staring at me, he's stalking me, he for sure wants to kill me!”

Bebe looked at that guy and Tweek saw her suppress her laughter. She looked back at him with those pitifully furrowed brows. He hated that look on her.

“What, that cute guy? Tweek, he's just a new customer! He's not going to harm anyone.”

“But he's staring! Don't you see that look he's giving me?!”

They were both looking back at Craig and just that moment, as if to prove his point, Craig was waving at them, a slim smile on his lips.

“That’s because he wants you to get his order,” Bebe reasoned with the gentle voice she gave him all so often.

It wasn't the first time Tweek's paranoia leaked out of him and Bebe was the one person at his workplace he trusted enough to not be part of the governments conspiracies against him. He trusted her enough to be able to subtly and unobtrusive find out if Craig was a murderer without getting herself in trouble by doing so. He trusted her enough that he knew she would help him.

He also knew that his mind was probably being absurd again, as it also wasn't the first time that his Insomnia evoked condition worsened his Paranoia. And even there he knew that she would be able to help him differentiate and decide which thoughts were psychosis and which the truth. Because sometimes he forgot. Sometimes he wasn't able to reason with himself.

“No, no. That because he’s after me!”

“Oh Tweeky, we had this discussion so often.”

“Yes, but this time it's different! I've met this guy before!”

“uh-huh.”

“I did! Two weeks ago.”

“Let me guess, he wanted you to get his order?”

Tweek snarled and rolled hie eyes at her, “It wasn't here! But suddenly he appears at my workplace and shoves into my face that he's eighteen now. As if it made any difference if he's seventeen or eighteen.”

One of those 'gah'-noises escaped him and Bebe stayed calm even through Tweek's words surely didn't made so much sense to her.

“Oh, he doesn't look that young. So, where have you met?”

“Uh.”

“Tell me.”

“Oh god, he wants to kill me.” His finger flew to his mouth and he started chewing, his brows furrowed.

“Tweek! Go get his order! Go and do your fucking job! We had an agreement, remember? You can't let a customer wait this long, it's offensive! You get his order and then come back and tell me, okay?!”

Tweek sighed and breathed in deeply, counting again. He had to do his job. Get over his stupid mistrust and do his job like Bebe had said. After all Bebe was probably right. Everything was going to be okay, she was going to watch the scene and hinder Craig from slaughtering him. And when he was back she'd help him with the rest.

There was a reason he trusted her.

“Okay... okay!” he breathed.

This time it took him to count till seven to muster all of his courage, yet again he was that fresh born kitten with trembling legs meowing for his mother to rescue him. And there he thought being twenty-six years old would mean something, yet it was the same thing each time, so pathetic.

You don't grow up, you just grow old.

Well instead of wailing about how his problems and silly view of the world had escorted him his whole life long he had to be brave once again. Why wasn't it any easier with all the years that had passed?

Somehow, and he wasn't sure how, he managed to make his way towards that booth and was promptly greeted by Craig.

"Hi Tweek! I like your shirt."

"Uh– ah...okay." Tweek looked at the desk, then his notepad. He was wearing an olive green button shirt, nothing special, just the color he wore the most. Then he blushed of the realization it looked the same like the one he had worn two weeks ago. His eyes felt heavy again as they suddenly lost their ability to stay open without him using his willpower at them.

Why did Craig have to do this with him? Why did Craig have to appear at his workplace again? Steal his sleep and made him feel like jelly? Like a six year old loosing his speech?

"It suits your eyes.“

Tweek pressed his lips together. That dude was an asshole. Tweek didn't get a wink of sleep that night, he had bags under his eyes that felt like they reached his mouth. He must look like shit yet that douche complimented him. Asshole.

Furthermore politeness would demand him to even thank that asshole, but doing so could encourage Craig to keep it up with that stupid flirting. So uh yes, stumbling quiet noises was for sure the better plan of action. His inner voice discussed with him how to handle the situation. Craig must be a stalker after all!

Yet Tweek had to act normal, treat him like any other customer.

That what he was, a customer.

No friend, no lover, no designated fate. Nothing of that. Maybe not even a stalker. Only a customer. A stranger like everyone else there was.

So they were staring at each other and Tweek clenched his notepad instead of one cup of coffee he felt desperate for; even though once he had it in hand he would long for the taste of sun kissed skin and heart shaped lips.

"Tweek – "

"You want to order something?" Tweek interrupted and locked his eyes furiously at his notepad.

"You look tired. Are you okay?”

No, asshole, he was not okay. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.

"I'm fine! You want a hot chocolate?"

“That would be nice, Hun.”

Tweek shot him a disbelieving stare. "Anything else?," he asked through gritted teeth.

“Let's go on a date.”

“One hot chocolate then.” With that he left the stranger who was nothing but another customer alone at the booth yet felt the stare itching at his back. And when he managed to reach the counter he again felt like he was a dish of pasta when preparing the beverage.

“See? He just wanted to order something,” Bebe cheered at him.

“He called me 'Hun'. Asshole.”

Bebe whistled before she asked, “Okay, you need to tell me, where have you met?!”

“...Charlie's.”

“They let eighteen years old into Charlie's?”

Tweek ignored her and brought the beverage to his stalker, ignoring him as well.

“I really like your name, Tweek.”

He placed the cacao at the table not saying a word nor moving his eyes towards his customer.

“Actually, I'm happy your name isn't Thomas, I thought that name was starting to follow me – ”

Tweek spun on his heel and went back to his counter.

“Hey don’t ignore me, that’s not fair,” he heard Craig say but refused to acknowledge him.

“Ouch, you're so cold-hearted,” Bebe commented when he was back, “and now tell me.”

“What?” he put the tray back at it's place and busied himself with cleaning the counter.

“What happened between the two of you when you met at Charlie's? Did you have... ?”

Tweek stopped his movements with the cloth at the counter to look at the ground. He felt his cheeks become warm.

“Not true?!” Bebe tested but she was able to interpret Tweek's flustered face and non signaling posture.

“Oh my god, Tweek! I didn't knew you had it in you!” She then grinned and came out of the kitchen and stood next to him behind the counter. She moved her arm to box him into his shoulder. “Seducing little boys, oh my, didn't knew you liked the younger ones.”

Tweek hissed in alarm, “that's not what happened!”

Bebe wiggled her eyebrows at him and Tweek groaned. He clapped his hands over his face and squeezed his eyes shut. He stroke his fingers over his eyebrows and then over the black crescent under his eyes. His skin felt dry and his fingers rough. He then moved his fingers up to massage his forehead. Now that his panic subsided his headache was back.

When he opened his eyes he saw Craig look in his direction. His eyes were uncharacteristically unfocused like he was lost in thoughts, but he snapped out of it and his mouth wrinkled into a smile when he recognized Tweek looking at him. As soon as this happened Tweek looked away, fingers still at his temples. He stayed like this for a while until out of his peripheral vision it seemed like Craig was turning away. So he looked back up just to see the kid open up a book about mathematics and pull a notepad and some pens out of his bag. Tweek remembered that he said his courses on Friday don't start before noon. Was he planing to stay at the coffee shop for so long?

Another groan escaped his throat and he turned to the machines and poured himself a cup of hot black painkiller. Even though he didn't feel Craig's gaze at his back he felt that of his coworker. Before he could face her again he held the mug under his nose inhaling the calming smell and felt the warmth radiate into his hands.

“Will you tell me what happened then?”

“There is nothing to tell, you already figured it.”

“He seduced you?” She grinned and Tweek burned his tongue at his coffee so he wouldn't have to answer. The heat hurt but the taste calmed and he restrained to look at her so his cheeks wouldn't get any hotter as they already were and would get burned just like his tongue did.

“That's hot!”

She looked at that kid, her eyes were scanning up and down, she took her time and Tweek watched her do so. He valued her opinion and so far she seemed happy with Craig's first impression.

“He looks cute. Do you have a name to tag at that face?”

“...Craig.”

“And how was it?”

“How was what?”

“He, the sex, how was it? Oh my, you weren't his first, were you?”

Judging by this guys performance he was definitely not his first. Tweek flushed a completely new shade of red and for the first time that day was happy when another customer appeared and he had to give out a coffee to go.

Bebe waited for them to be alone again before she continued, “so?”

“No, uhm... Could we leave out on those details, please?”

“Was it good at least?”

Tweek busied himself with cleaning the counter again. Bebe had her arms crossed and waited while Tweek's gaze stayed at his hands.

“... yes,” he finally admitted and Bebe smiled.

“Good. And now spit it out,” she repeated and Tweek met her gaze not sure what she was expecting from him. She waited patiently but unrelenting for him to spit out whatever. He crooked his eyebrows hoping his expression would express his confusion.

“Why do you think he wants to kill you?”

Tweek blinked his eyes and his eyebrows shot high at his forehead. Wasn't it obvious? For him personally it was so obvious. He looked at that kid, who was looking bored at his textbook , the pen he held in hand wiggled from his fingers playing with it. Like a nervous tick Tweek knew so well from himself. Or maybe he simply had problems to concentrate.

Tweek's arm hair stood on end, he was a fucking clairvoyant or something, because he knew exactly what would happen next. Any moment Craig would look up from his book and turn his head to look at Tweek and he would give him that same suspicious smile like before. His stare would bore into Tweek's skin and read every secret he himself wasn't even aware of.

Just like predicted Craig then looked up from his book and Tweek averted his gaze back at the counter. Maybe if he avoided the eye contact Craig wouldn't catch up on his staring ~~.~~

“So, you two have had sex and you say it had been good, so give me any logical reason on why he would want to harm you.”

Tweek's face burnt. That all of his friends have to had the tendency to blurt that word around carelessly.

“It's been two weeks and suddenly he appears here. Like, why does he know where I'm working? Why is he appearing here two days in a row? Why else would he look at me so funny?”

He turned his head to face her again, his eyes furrowed. And he was just so tired, so overly tired of this whole mess that was his life. He wished to lay down and sleep a thousand years and wake up as another person, all of his problems gone.

Bebe was giving him her pitiful face again and he wanted to punch it. For her teeth to be crashing at the ground and her to look at him this way never again. She was his best source in fighting his illness but at the moment he hated her for all her good intention and all the endurance she had given him over the years. Cause she still tried to reason with him, she still tried to make him compare his thoughts with reality to not get lost when all he wanted to do was to run away from it.

To run away and never come back.

“I think it's a lucky coincidence. Also he called you 'Hun', I really don't think he wants to harm you, Tweek. I think he wants something totally different.”

He was so tired. And his eyes hurt and his head was way too heavy to be held up high. Tweek wanted to lay his head at the counter and close his eyes. Disappear into black nothing, into dreamless sleep were not even his subconscious had power over him. And a moment it felt like his wish had been granted. His eyelashes flew shut, his surroundings vanished. Just the void embracing him.

“Do you like him?”

“Huh?” he snapped out of it, the bliss, the sleep he thought he had been in and would pause time for him for a thousand years. His eyes opened and the surroundings came back to life. Only a second had passed.

“You must like him, you're not the type to sleep with just anyone. You should ask him on a date.”

“What?! No!”

“But you like him.”

Tweek was momentary on a loss of words. He just stared at her and finally groaned her name for her to stop.

“Than what made you decide he was worth to touch you? I know you're picky.”

Yes that's the question, what made him decide to let that happen. He looked at Craig again who concentrated on his furious writing. He must have found his concentration. His eyebrows were wrinkled and his tongue stick out his mouth' corner. And again that word appeared in Tweek's head. Cute.

His eyes landed on an innocent kid, no murderer. On a kid that was a grown man and Tweek's breath shuddered.

His eyes. It had been his eyes and their sincerity. Craig came across as calm and impassive like a cold rock in the middle of ocean waves, but when he looked at his brown eyes there was a warmth radiating through them and the people around them were spinning into a blur because his eyes were the only solid anchor, they were the axis the world revolved around. Everything Craig's face lacked to convey was written there in tongues Tweek couldn't read. And his cheeky smile contradicted the poetry inside his iris star constellation and added to the mystery. Despite it wasn't scary. It was scary how this wasn't scaring him.

It had been his voice as well, the way he talked with Tweek. He was monotone but the appealing thing was that when he talked he was there, he was real and focused. It was the way he let Tweek be, the way he didn't question when they talked about nonsense instead about important stuff. That he laughed but then nonetheless agreed when Tweek talked about aliens and monsters. Like he believed him.

Their conversation had lasted only around one hour yet somehow that had been enough for him to convince Tweek that, yes, indeed, he was worth to share that secret with.

His headache worsened and he rubbed his temple.

“He must have used mind-control.”

“What?!”

“Yes, he must have –“

Bebe groaned. “Tweek, stop! Think again! Reflect about what decision you have made and don't push your own responsibility at others. God, it's like pulling teeth with you!”

Tweek bit his lower lip when he watched her face and her crunched expression. Then he drank half of his coffee and looked back at that kid.

Again he tried to reason with himself but most of his thoughts circled around the task to keep his eyes open. Bebe was probably right, he alone was responsible for his decisions.

He drank the rest of his cup and sighed.

“I guess I just need some sleep.”

 

***

 

One and a half hours later he obviously hadn't got any sleep as the workday was yet dragging by. He drank another coffee and because Bebe insisted also a glass of water. He shouldn't drink so much coffee, but then again he really should drink another coffee right away.

The costumers dropped in and out regularly and his moments spend bend over the counter with his head on his crossed arms were short but necessary.

The coffees he drank didn't do that much in waking him, just prevented him from falling into withdrawal on top of his bad condition. Yet his mind was active, like always, even though he got interrupted by customers and the faint blankness of fatigue.

What did Craig mean, the name Thomas was following him? How was it possible for a name to follow someone around? Maybe he was in the same trouble as Tweek and felt constantly watched and spied. Maybe, just like Tweek, he felt like all of his secrets were written all over his face and each time he opened his mouth everything spilled out.

But then why did he sleep with him? If the name Thomas was a threat for him, than why did he have sex with 'Thomas'? That didn't made any sense.

He tried another approach, the other way around. What if this was the reason they have had sex; what if it was because Craig thought his name was Thomas? Maybe the name had a magical connection to him. Maybe it was a misunderstanding and he thought …. uh this didn't made sense either. Tweek shook his head.

Why was Craig so eager to convey Tweek that he liked his real name better than his alias if the alias was his motivation for their tryst?

Tweek's head spun and he lay it back at the counter.

Those two fucks he had inside the bar before never played out into such complicated aftermaths. When the guy who had given him a blowjob once appeared in the bar afterwards he didn't acknowledge Tweek and by now Tweek had even forgotten what his face looked like. And that other guy Tweek had let him fuck him in the unhygienic of a public restroom was only because he had been really wasted and the panic and anxieties he encountered afterwards were draining but lasted only for one week and they never met again, so everything turned out to be alright in the end.

With Craig however things were different. Two weeks had passed and this time they had met again.

He heard the ching of metal cling on wood and it echoed painfully in the cracks of his sanity. When he opened his eyes he saw money at the counter and when he slowly lifted his head he was met by brown coffee eyes.

This, the way he slept at his workplace on the counter for everyone to see, and his customer approaching him was so totally not humiliating. Awesome.

He straightened his back and looked wearily at Craig who had packed his books and everything back into his backpack and came to the counter to pay instead of waiting for Tweek to do his goddamn job.

“When will your shift end today?”

“Are you asking me this so you can stalk me on my way home?”

Tweek didn't care anymore if he was subtle or a lunatic making a fool out of himself. If it made sense to others what he was thinking and saying and why he was going insane with every breath he took.

“No,” Craig answered, “you just look really tired and I was just… dunno, I just wish you a good night later when you finally drop into your bed.”

Tweek's weary eyes blinked at him. Was this his way to try and be 'nice'? To humiliate Tweek with pointing out his incapability to do his job?

Tweek wanted to stop thinking for once. To stop for once to interpret, criticize and analyze each and every step he and others made so he could be happy for once. Stop being afraid of every little cough to bear the message that he was unwanted, for every little creak to be someone sneaking up behind him and every form of social interaction to be a personal attack on him and his existence.

If he could just stop to view everything around him as a threat. Two weeks ago when those piercing eyes landed on his for the first time he had managed to do so. Maybe it was not the name Thomas but Craig who held magic within his letters. He heard his heart beat but he didn’t understand its message. Just like he didn't understand to read Craig's childish attempts in getting his attention not as a thread but as what they were.

He didn't know what they were, because he didn't stop to interpret and over-analyze each and every move he made. And he stood behind his counter, too exhausted and too anxious and too confused and all he was able to do was to look at Craig. The kid who stood in front of him like a monument, a fondness in his smile and his eyes searching. If Tweek wouldn't know it better he'd say that Craig looked lost. Sturdy but lost.

It dawned to his mind that he should probably thank Craig. After all he sounded sincere. He opened his mouth and when no words formed he closed it and wetted his lips with his tongue.

He was thirsty. And he thought about Coffee. And his bed. And strong arms around him.

Craig smiled at him, “get some sleep.” And then he left and at the counter lay too much money for a college student to pay for only one cup of hot chocolate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Tweek's sleep deprived condition when I haven't slept 24 hours myself, it got a bit angsty, sorry for that  
> oh guys, I let a lot of things develop while writing, but this way I often end up with unexpected development of scenes and in the end my storys surprise me, like wtf did this happen. (this is actually a funny process :) Accidentally Tweek's paranoia got more room than intended in the beginning and I'm not so sure if I like this chapter ^^°  
> I want them to be happy already ;_;
> 
> Question: shall I make a notion whenever I change the point of view? (So it won't be so suddenly?)  
> With time I'll include more south park characters and I'm thinking of including the pairing bunny, what do you think? Yes or Nah? Also somewhere down the road Stolovan will happen :)  
> Thanks everyone for reading and supporting :)  
> Next chapter won't come up before end of July, sorry guys.


	5. All alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to announce a new chapter.  
> thanks so much for your patience.  
> And thanks so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments. I'm overwhelmed by how many of you like this story even through I struggle so much with it <3  
> anyway, this is sort of a filler chapter, haha, sorry xD

Wakening at Saturday morning was like coming back to life from the dead. Tweek expanded his limbs and felt the stretch in his muscles and skin and even his bones were prominent and solid inside his flesh; everything in place and his control.

The night before Tweek had crashed on his couch and fell to sleep instantly. That was the only good thing of chronicle sleep deprivation, when finally crashing on a comfy place his mind shut up and he slept. No discussions or invasive thoughts, just sleep. He had slumbered a generous amount of nine hours. That felt like a new personal record. His body still felt heavy from having slept so long, but his head was clear, and a short moment the world was perfect when he drank his morning coffee, while watching the sunrise that was remarkably late as it still was a winter morning.

Later that day he met with Stan at the park to play fetch with Tommy. That dog was a cheerful little fella. His short black fur glistered when he ran after the stick and matched his elegant posture. He had those patches of rust that were characteristic for German Pincher and as his owners insisted his ears weren't cropped and his tail wasn't docked. So he would keep some of those puppy features even after growing up.

“Come here Tommy, come here.”

Stan leaned his torso forward, a playful smile on his face and when Tommy dropped the stick to Stan's feet he showered his dog in petting and affection. Tommy's tail got wild wiggling.

“Good boy! Isn't he just awesome?”

He looked up at Tweek and almost fell into the snow because Tommy started to jump at him at which Stan started to laugh. There were little wrinkles around his eyes when he laughed like this. Tweek smiled at the scene yet hunched his shoulders up against the cold. The sky was gray but there was no wind, so it was bearable.

Stan picked up the stick and held it for Tweek to grab it. “Here. Your turn.”

Tommy followed suit the motion of the stick and his expectant puppy eyes broke through Tweek's hesitance so he grabbed for the toy and threw it. The dog dashed away like thunder.

Stan repeated for the millionth time how happy he was that Kyle finally allowed him to have a dog. He told this like every time when they went out with the German Pincher, but Tweek never stopped him to repeat the same story as his joy was written all over his face even after eight months had passed. Stan also liked to repeat the story of how much convincing it took the breeder to _not_ do the procedure of cropping and docking.

When Tommy came back it was Tweek's turn to pet him. He felt warm and his short fur was organized and smooth. Tweek started with patting at the head and then scratched behind Tommy's ears but the dog didn't keep still for one minute and so he dropped his hand to Tommy's back. He felt the contour of Tommy's shoulder blades and his muscles flex under his touch.

“Sit,” Stan instructed and Tommy held still shortly for Tweek to scratch his ear but then he moved around again. He was just too energized and Stan smiled despite Tommy's bad behavior.

German pincher were absolutely no beginner dogs and needed a lot of care. The dog gave Stan so much more and so much better to do than his boring office job. The benefits for his not only physical but also mental health were prominent in the smile he flashed when Tommy dashed away the next time. It was nice to see Stan so happy, and it was nice to have such a lovely creature to pet, that was so focused on the play like there was nothing beyond the person he was playing with. It made Tweek feel special for the moments when Tommy looked at him like he wanted to jump into his lap and return the gesture of affection.

“So, Pete's back to health?” Stan asked.

“Yeah, no more double shifts for a while.”

His coworker Pete had been knocked out with a bad cold for almost eight days. The twenty-year-old was strange to look at but actually really nice once you knew him better. He dressed himself solely in black and wore eyeliner and dyed bangs of his hair red. He always smelled like vanilla cigarettes and patchouli.

Actually the whole group of employees were kind of strange to look at. Christophe looked disheveled throughout the day in a rough and rusty way, like he just came out of a war. The wrinkles around his eyes and the crease between his eyebrows were permanent and his skin looked dry and tanned like it had been in the sun too often. He was forty-two but he looked old and exhausted and could easily be mistaken as older than fifty. He owned the shop but most of the time he stayed in the kitchen like he was aware that his snarky comments and attitude would scare the customers away. It was strange, and maybe a satire on life itself, that a guy like him was owning such a cute and lively place like Little Owl Coffee Shop. You'd expect him behind the counter of Stan's uncle Jimbo's gun shop, not a coffee shop.

Maybe that irony was the reason why he wasn't that picky with his employees. Though in contrast to the rest of the group Bebe was refreshingly nice to look at, with her thick hair and make-up masked smooth skin. The wings of her eyeliner never failed to be drawn perfectly and the shirts she wore hugged her boobs suggestively even if they never showed off some cleavage.

And then there was of course he himself. With his bony hands, his crooked nose and prominent bags under his eyes. His crazy hair he tamed with bobby pins or headbands, that made him look extra gay, but it was better than to risk some hair to fall into the orders he had to serve.

“Cool,” Stan commented, and threw the stick for Tommy, “than you can come to Charlie's next Thursday with us?”

Tweek was a bit reluctantly. He didn't want to show it off though, so he raised a question instead. “Did you miss me last time?”

“Well, yeah.” Stan shrugged. It wasn’t very convincing.

Using his work as an excuse to avoid the bar had been reasonable, yet there was still a second matter that bothered Tweek to go there. It was hard enough to have that kid appear at his workplace, just what was he supposed to do if they would meet at the bar as well? Suspicion tumbled back into his head and he figured if Craig had asked his friends for research than now was a good time to find out. Though, he should probably try and be subtle about it, he didn't want to give Stan a reason to lie about this. Or rather, give himself reason to doubt Stan's sincerity.

“Did I miss out on something last time?”

“Not really. Damien asked for you.” He was the bartender who had a special nickname for him, he liked to call him 'Tweekers' but they weren't really close. Stan glanced at Tweek and gave him a look over, before he added, “and your cupcake guy was there.”

Damn, so all his worries were true?

Tweek's eyes flew open, he knew his surprise was plastered all over his face but wasn't sure if his nervousness was too. His fingers automatically started to pick at his nailbed.

“Dude, I was really surprised you took him home, that's so unusual of you.”

“Uh, well.” Tweek shrugged and didn't register Stan's grin cause he looked at the snow instead. Tommy stood in front of Stan and whimpered for attention. Tweek felt Stan's eyes drill into him, but maybe his mind was just lying. He waited for Stan to make some stupid comment like Bebe had done, but nothing came and then Tommy dashed away following the stick.

“Did you, uhm, talk… with him?”

“No. I saw him only briefly in the crowd. Actually Kyle saw him, I wouldn't have recognized him.”

Oh.

“And you didn't talk with him?” Tweek asked. His eyebrows twitched together. He needed to make sure.

“No. Why?” Now Stan was becoming suspicious of him. “Did something happen?”

Did Stan mean besides him being a pedophile and getting punished with a stalker in return? Tweek suddenly felt very vertigo, and he might would be happy to just drop dead into the snow.

“You want me to talk with him?” Stan asked.

“No!” Tweek replied too fast for it not being suspicious and then he squatted and distracted himself with petting Tommy. So much about being subtle. The way this conversation was going Stan might decide to speak with Craig next time they would be at the bar by himself. He cuddled Tommy to search for comfort in his warmth.

“Why not?” Stan asked, “aren’t you guys dating?”

“What?!”

“I just assumed, since you took him home. Don’t tell me you've been too shy to ask for his phone number?”

“I…” Tweek’s eyelashes fluttered, and with a tinge of pink warming his cheeks he looked at the snow like the white surface might whisper him what to say to make this conversation end right here and now.

Stan sighed. “You know what, just come to Charlie’s with us this Thursday and talk to your little cupcake yourself?”

Stan smiled smugly, he obviously misinterpreted a whole lot just now and Tweek wasn’t mentally prepared to explain him on how many levels he was wrong with that advice.

 

***

 

“Stop feeding him!”

“But – “

“Stan, you need to properly educate him, you can't give him food from your plate or he won't stop to beg. I want to be able to eat in peace.”

“But look at his puppy eyes! I can't Kyle.”

“Stanley!”

Stan sighed and looked guilty at Tommy who sat at the ground directly beside Stan's chair, “I'm so sorry bud, dada said ‘no’.”

He continued his meal despite his obvious problems to ignore Tommy and Tweek felt a lift at his mouth corners. It didn't take long for Tommy to leave Stan's side and disappear under the table and his head to appear between Tweek's legs. He laughed at the intrusion and Kyle instructed him to not comply to Tommy's begging. Yet Tweek used the opportunity to pet him.

Something inside of Tweek felt envious of the happiness such a creature could spark in his owner. It made Tweek consider to get a pet himself. He had gone through the pro and cons in his head a millionth time since he was living on his own. But since the cat he once as a child had ran away, each time he considered a new pet, in the end he came to the conclusion it was better for him to not imprison little animals inside his flat. He would hate to leave it alone for several hours, when he had to leave for work. He didn't want it to feel lonely.

The images of Stan and his dog remained vividly alive in his head and that night when he lay in his big empty bed he thought about them. He thought about the way Stan and Kyle interacted like a longtime married couple. A unison, fighting and fretting about little things but making up just as fast. It had always been like this between them.

The difference between their life and his had always been evident, but it lay itself bare in front of him again and he wasn't able to ignore any longer how his chest tightened and the distance got even bigger each time he saw them.

They were together. They were happy. Despite the off and on they were going through since day one; they weren't stable, but they were constant. For as far back as Tweek could remember the two of them had always been super best friends. And some day during college they became more than this. This day had been seven years ago. It blew Tweek's mind. Seven years.

They had a constant in their life, another person, a relationship bad or good, platonic or loving. They had one another and none of them had to lay alone in a bed that was meant for two. None of them had to cook for only one person alone. Had to cook two portions and freeze the second for the next day instead of hearing someone say 'thank you'. When he turned around to face the other side of his bed and the darkness, he thought that he hated them.

He didn't hate them, but he hated the way they displayed their luck and made him realize the big difference between their and his life. The absence in his life. His flat was silent and empty. At his hanger hang only his clothes and in his bath was only one toothbrush. He never woke up to the smell of prepared breakfast and when he left for work, he was the only one whispering 'goodbye'. Not to a person but the lifeless things that were his flat. That were his life. The company of books and television or laptop screen noises wasn't the same than the warmth of another creature. Of another person.

In fact, Tweek was pretty lonely.

He managed to ignore it for most days. Life went on and he wasn't alone. He had friends. And he saw so many people every day at work it was exhausting. Sometimes he thought there were too many people in the world and each of them wanted a coffee at his Little Owl Coffee shop. He was surrounded by people all the time.

This however didn't save him from the bare naked truth, that even though he wasn't alone, he was ultimately lonely. He was reminded of this each time he turned off the TV to go into his empty bedroom and crawl under the duvets where he had only his pillow to hug. And all the free space around him expanded until suddenly he was the only human in the whole world.

He was living on his own for two and a half years now. When he moved out of his and Natasha's shared flat he thought it was a reasonable idea to buy himself a queen-sized bed. Even if he would be alone for a while he wouldn't be alone forever. And it didn't made sense to buy a small bed when the wish to have company someday was intact. Also in the beginning it was nice to have a queen-sized bed all to himself.

When he reached out and proved for himself that the empty space next to him was as sad and lonely as he was he realized something else. Not only was Craig the first intimate foreigner he woke up to, but also was it the first time he had woken up next to someone in this bed. In this bed he owned all alone. And Craig’s embrace had been warm and comfy.

He remembered Natasha and his chest tightened all over again. Thinking of her made him even more lonely. Though he knew he didn't miss her specifically but the warmth of another person. The safety of arms wrapped around him and the presence of someone trustworthy. The grounding and reassuring existence of a human being that formed an extension to his own existence. Because of their bond he would never be alone no matter where he went. And because there was no such bond in his life and no extension of his existence his lonely heart embraced the isolation and it took its place next to Tweek on his bed.

 

* Craig's POV *

 

It was a two hours ride back to Denver and half an hour into the ride Clyde finally stopped to complain that he had to _always_ sit in the back seat. That decision was made like one week after Token got his Mercedes and Clyde was forced to accept it. They didn't change that decision since then and sometimes he complained about it even though he knew it was useless. He was just too much of a distraction when Token drove to sit in the front seat. He also broke the rule of no food with sauce in the car regularly.

His friends had been green with envy when Token's sixteens birthday present was not only a car but also that new shiny silver Mercedes. His parents just never stopped to wave with their money. And Token took good care of his vehicle, it was a big contrast to that old run down pre-owned Honda Clyde and Craig shared. They saved their money and brought it when they finished high school together. By times Craig questioned their decision, as most of the time their car stood at its parking lot collecting bird crap, since they were carpooling anytime they had the chance and most of the times they let Token drive because his parents paid for his gas.

When visiting their old hometown, they were obviously carpooling as well.

“So, I asked my dad...”

Craig turned his head to the side to have better understanding of whatever stupid Clyde was going to say next.

“...And he said your Tweek guy could be Richards son.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Richard Tweak, he owns Tweek Bros. Coffee Shop!”

“Dude! Why did you ask your dad about this?”

“I'm curious! Aren't you curious? And as you might remember my dad runs a shoe shop, and South Park is a hell of a small town, all the entrepreneurs know each other. Anyway, my dad said he had called his son just like his coffee shop, he remembers cause he always thought about this as weird, and it is weird, who calls his son Tweek Tweak?”

Craig grumbled, the name was cute, weird, but cute!  

“You're saying Tweek is the son of that Richard guy? He's from South Park?”

“Bingo.”

“The world is small, huh?” Token said with a wry smile.

The world was small, indeed. They left that redneck town to get rid of all the stupidity happening there but apparently you can't run from this town. It'll follow you and if it was in such stupid coincidences. Willingly they came back only to collect their birthday and Christmas presents. Just like they had done this weekend.

And because of this he had to see his family which was always a little bit annoying. It wasn't that they wouldn't get along, but they got along with each other best if they could just each sit in their own rooms and ignore each other. Just four weeks ago he had seen them for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Having to talk to them again in such a short time span was unnecessarily annoying and therefor exhausting.

At least his birthday 'party' had been okay. Mostly because Jimmy had been there. He gave Craig a Red Racer lunchbox as a gag on old times (jokes on him because Craig actually liked the lunch box) and a coupon for his next comedy show. He also made some stupid jokes about becoming old only on the paper. His mum prepared his favorite cake and his little sister gave him a Star Wars shirt, it even looked cool.

He still called her munchkin even through the Tucker genes were highly active in her. She was maybe four maximal five inches smaller than him; way too tall for a fourteen-year-old girl. If she didn't stop growing soon she could become even taller than him. She was around the height of Tweek now, so she would outgrow him as well.  It was a beautiful picture he thought, beautiful as in funny, imagining all three of them standing next to each other and Tweek to be the smallest one.

His parents gave him a check of one hundred dollars, that was explicitly for his textbooks and the repeated request to bring his girlfriend home next time.  His grandmother gave him a check of one hundred dollars that was explicitly for him to have fun. Unfortunately, she also asked for him to introduce his girlfriend as soon as he would have one. She was the nicest lady he had ever met, yet, sadly, he would disappoint her in that regards someday, not this weekend though, but someday. She was also a lot of fun to be around; she was the only real reason to ever come back to this damn town. She and the graves of his guinea pigs Stripe and Dot in his parents’ house backyard. Like always he had lay a piece of kohlrabi at the patch of earth and a piece of carrot next to it, those had been their respective favorite foods.

Token and Clyde had given him his presents on Thursday already and after his party they left the Tucker residence to use the weekend to visit their own families. 

When the days’ turmoil calmed down and Craig lay in his old bed and his half empty old bedroom he sighed. He looked up at the glow in the dark stars that he had stuck at his ceiling when he had been a young boy and they looked really faded. His bedsheets were covered in linen he hadn't seen before and disturbed the welcoming familiarity of the blue color on his walls and the stains were the photos of his old life had been hanging, before he had took them off to take them with him. Just six months ago this room hadn't been half empty and it hadn't been old then. It hadn't been his forgotten second home but his only home and he had spent the majority of his days in this bed with his laptop on his lap. And the stupid little plastic stars, they might had been faded then as well, but he hadn't noticed then.

And suddenly he was so aware of them being faded like they were a reflection, a portray of what his life had looked like. And maybe the real problem wasn't the stars but that they proofed that his old bedroom was faded and maybe the high school version of him was as well.  It was strange how many things could change over such a short time span. How the first semester, when everything was so new and so exciting, flew by in a wink and his second semester had already begun. All of this happened within not even half a year.

And suddenly he was eighteen. Supposed to be mature overnight.

He didn't feel any difference though. All the excitement eighteen-year old's felt when leaving the parents’ house and live on their own for the very first time, to learn to organize themselves, cooking, grocery's, all this stuff of growing up, he already encountered half a year ago. The expectation to mature into adulthood overnight had lay upon him often enough already. He was eighteen, yet he felt incredibly old. And this bedroom and the faded stars weren't fitting him anymore, while on the other hand they did, cause faded and old was what he felt like when he lay in this room and looked upon the dust of his past.

Though it was easy to escape this feeling of blame. All he had to do was to close his eyes and he was greeted by the picture of a blonde man he had become familiar with. It was easy to ignore the dust surrounding him with this new idea forming inside his head. He imagined them snuggling at the balcony, snuggling in Tweek's bed and eating breakfast together. They would watch one of his gay musicals.

They would cuddle and kiss and probably do other stuff, but of all things they would talk for hours until he knew everything about this man, and then he would let him sleep inside his arms.

He could drive with him somewhere to go stargazing. Maybe in spring when nights would be mild. Somewhere undisturbed from all the city lights like at the Amphitheatre at Red Rocks Park. They would have to go when there's no concert but it was like only half an hour from Tweek's apartment, and from his google search results, he did before he had even moved to Denver, under the top eight places for stargazing the only one he wouldn't have to drive longer than an hour. 

They could also drive to UFO Watchtower in San Luis Valley, it would take them four hours to get there, but it had that name not without a reason. Craig was sure Tweek would love it if they were stargazing with a chance of seeing some visitors.

It didn't mattered how often Craig claimed to like things to be boring, even when he left the town that was kinda the secret base of the supernatural, in the end he fell for someone who made him seek out the extraordinary. And he would like to greet some visitors, if only he could hold Tweek's hand in the meantime.

Craig daydreamt until it was time to have some actual dreams. Only then he noticed the lack of noises around him. No squeaking or rustling from hay or metal clicking when his companies drank from their water-bottle. His guinea pigs weren't around him.

He always hated it when he had to expose them to the stress of the car ride, but leaving them in Denver was just as hard and apparently stressful for him. He had advised Kevin trice about how to handle his pets before they had left. Yet he felt bad for leaving them.

So sometimes it was a good thing how time just kept fleeing by and Sunday evening arrived so they could get back to their new home in Denver.

“Wouldn’t we have seen him before?” Craig asked. Tweek wasn’t the most unremarkable guy after all.

“Probably. Hey Token, when did you start drinking coffee?”

Token always took his time before he said his opinion to a matter. He didn’t move his eyes from the road and looked rather tensed when collecting his memory.

“After Nichole broke up, around two years ago.”

“Mhh, that's not so long. Dad said he moved out years ago and Token brought his coffee in that SodoSopa shop most of the time. We haven't been to Tweak bros. that often.”

"Right."

That made sense Craig thought, while Clyde kept talking “Dad and Mr. Tweak aren't that close, so he doesn't know any details but he said they were fighting or something.”

Oh.

“you know what about?”

“No Idea.”

“And how did you explain your sudden interest for Tweek Bros.?” Craig asked.

“Duh, I said we met a Tweek guy and that I thought about his name as funny.”

“Dude! What did you say?”

“I said we met him in a coffee shop. I won't accidentally out you; don't shit your pants, Craig.”

Craig grumbled. Even through Clyde said that, it wasn't really soothing. It wasn't that Clyde was untrustworthy, he just wasn't the best in hiding secrets. And it had happened before that he accidentally spilled confidential information in inappropriate situations. Like when his cousin Red came along with a 'what's up?' and he casually said they just have been kissing. To his defense, he had been fifteen then, still, it was easy to imagine him saying something like 'Dad, the frozen pizza tastes amazing, I like it as much as Craig likes dicks' and not noticing what he had done until the pizza was stomached.

It wasn't easy to stay in the closet when having such a silly and openly bisexual guy as Clyde as best friend.


	6. change the menu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience. I love you guys <3

* Tweek's POV *

 

Monday, what a great day. Everyone hated Mondays, but Tweek stood behind his counter awake and fresh like the coffee he had poured himself just a minute ago. He didn't hate Mondays, and he didn't hate his job. Yet he felt jittery. The weekend provided him a break from seeing his stalker but now back at his workplace that kid could appear any minute.

And as those minutes ticked by Tweek stood tensed up at the counter and chewed his nails, though he stopped as soon as he noticed it. Péte was at the kitchen organizing something and Christophe had some days off. He looked around the booth and their customers if anyone needed his service. It was noon, all those office workers who needed a walk during their break came in for their short shot of caffeine and that kid hadn't appeared yet.

Late afternoon, Pete's shift had ended and Bebe took his place. The rush of workers had gone and the schoolkids hanging out at the coffee shop could barely be called a rush. Yet Craig hadn't showed up. Tweek felt edgy, his eyebrows furrowed. One hour of his shift was remaining and it was silly, it was so silly, but Tweek felt betrayed. He had expected for Craig to show up again. Wasn't he supposed to be a stalker? If then he was doing a sloppy job!

His shift ended like any other Monday and when he put his apron down he threw it forcefully into the corner of their lunch room. Tweek felt his fists clench and a crease between his brows to form. His aggression wasn't satisfied as the apron just flopped down without causing anything except a bit of dust to crawl over the floor from the short breeze. So he bit into his under lip to bruise something. To release the energy that was rising up and was inflaming his veins and wanted to break _something_.

He felt angry. And irritated. And irrational. It was like when he had sat in his flat with the anticipation of his door to rang any moment. He hoped the whole day for it to not happen, but in the end felt disappointed that his hopes had been fulfilled.

He let go off his lip before he actually broke through the skin and with a sigh picked up the apron and hang it at its designated place.

That night, nine hours before his alarm would ring he took one pill of Doxylamin. He wanted to make sure to get enough sleep this night. He wanted to make sure that he would be too tired for his mind to mull over the day. To mull over the unsettling discomfort that was itching his muscles to move and shake off the things that were tangling into the cage of his chest.

Forty-five minutes into reading Mark harvesting potatoes on the Mars the medicine took hold and he crashed into his bed oblivious of the vacant place next to him on the mattress. Sleep finally a friend of his.

Tommy looked eagerly back and forth between Tweek's face and the stick in his hand. He was panting with his tongue out, Tweek would describe his face as the dog equivalent of a smile. Then he threw the stick, and the dog dashed away. When he came back, what he held in his mouth was something else, he reached Tweek and dropped a cupcake to his feet. And as Tweek bend down the stars around him were following like drawn by gravity and when he reached the dog he was gone and instead a blue hat lay there. Before he could do anything else he got swallowed by the stars that came swimming around him.

He got waken by his alarm sound. Tweek didn't recognize the flute playing accompanied by the rhythmic of clapping of percussion as his alarm until the singing began. Fall out boys – Immortals. He always chose the loud and catchy songs to wake him. Disoriented he put it off and blinked until he realized that he was back at the so called place 'reality'.

Later that morning when he stood behind his coffee-shops counter his disorientation quickly changed into irritation. It was a normal Tuesday. The snow that had fallen over night was quickly melted by bright sunbeams. The last two days of January would be beautiful it seemed. Still cold but at least with a clear sky and the sun smiling at them. A sunny day in cold winter month always warmed people’s hearts and was reflected in their interaction. The customers were smiling at him and nearly none of them grunted harshly like he was used to.

Yet he himself felt itchy and agitated and had to pull himself together to not bark at his customers. The dishes clattered loudly because his moves were uncoordinated. Unlike his sleep deprived condition, it was more like he held too much energy and his body didn't know where to put it so his movements were hectic and his fingers shaky.

It was all Craig's fault. Even when he managed to sleep that guy invaded his dreams and then he wasn't even consequent with doing his job as a stalker and appearing at his workplace. The anticipation, and anger of having this anticipation left unsatisfied, thrilled over his back and made his whole body tense and him jumpier and more easily startled than normally.

Tweek just didn't made it any easier for himself. If Craig wouldn't appear today, then maybe he'd be freed from his stalker. Why wasn't he simply happy about this?

The day dragged by and around afternoon when the rush of workers was gone Tweek didn't stop to fret and felt pretty exhausted of the whole situation.

“What's wrong?”

He jerked and looked at his coworker. Goddammit, when had Bebe left the kitchen to stand next to him?

“What do you mean?”

“Yesterday you've been all cheerful and today you're irritable and jumpy as fuck. You're not sleep deprived, I can tell. So what happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Tweek!”

Tweek's left thumb automatically picked his nail beds and he avoided her gaze. He needed to think about how to start this conversation he didn't want to have. He knew she wouldn't leave him alone if he wouldn't spit it.

“You... you've had shift over the weekend, right?”

“Yes.”

“Did … uhm, Craig...“

Of course Bebe crackled a grin.

“... Uh, did he appear over the weekend?” He looked at her and felt the tension he held in his face and shoulders.

“No, haven't seen him.”

“Not?” His mouth dropped and so did the rest of his features.

“Oh. Missing him already?” Bebe held the obvious grin. It was insulting; that grin that was telling Tweek that she thought she knew better than him about what was going on.

“No! I mean, he was stalking me, so of course I'm happy if he – “

“Speaking of the devil” Bebe interjected and Tweek turned around to see the familiar blue chullo appear. Its owner sat himself at the same booth like last time and gave Tweek a smile. Goddammit. Just the moment Tweek thought that kid would leave him alone Craig proved to be a stalker after all.

“Go and ask him on a date.”

Tweek turned back to his coworker, “I don't want to date him!”

“Not? That's a waste.” She went back to the kitchen and left Tweek alone with his misery.

He took one deep breath and sighed. His anticipation was satisfied, though he didn’t felt better by that at all. He would have to talk to Craig. He had to do his fucking job. So he told himself to do everything right this time. To not humiliate himself and not be too stupid to do his job. He would show off to Craig that he was nothing special but a customer like any other at the shop.

He looked at that kid and straightened his back. Craig was waving at him, that same slim smile on his lips. And Tweek took brave steps towards him. He reminded himself that Craig was just another customer. Just another customer.

“Hey Tweek,” he greeted once Tweek was in earshot.

“Welcome at Little Owl Coffee, my name is Tweek. What would you like to order?”

“Yes, Tweek,” Craig paused a suspicious moment, long enough for Tweek to wonder if he was reconsidering his liking of the name, “you look way better today, did you get some sleep over the weekend?”

The moment Tweek had pulled himself together he had decided to ignore anything unrelated Craig would say to him. And so he ignored his monotone, nasal voice that was such an obvious trait of him and made that statement sound like a mock instead of genuine concern.

“What would you like to order?”

“I've missed seeing you, but I had to visit my parents place.”

“I’m sure that’s a nice place. So what’s your order?” he repeated like a stupid parrot. Maybe he should just bring him one hot chocolate like last time. And maybe on his way he should stumble and split it all over Craig.

„What, I don’t even get proper small talk? Being that professional today?”

“I'm always professional.”

“Okay, then let's go on a date, we can have small talk then. See a movie, go to a coffee shop as customers not employees. I'll invite you.“

“Goddammit Craig!” Tweek sighed frustrated. Why was he so stubborn in not getting the hint?

“I'd invite you to a musical, but that's a little bit out of my budget.”

“And not on the menu.”

“What is on the menu then?”

“A hot chocolate for example.”

Craig sighed and leaned back. And then suddenly his lips were forming a cheeky grin.

“Are cupcakes on the menu?”

“Uh – “

Jesus, Tweek had maneuvered himself into a trap, this guy was smooth. _Asshole_. For not liking to be compared to cupcakes he sure knew how to use that metaphor. Tweek's eyes searched through the area uncomfortably, while he felt a blush blossom his cheeks. His mouth twisted and he didn't want to admit but it twisted in his efforts to suppress his smile. Without even looking he felt Craig grinning at him and out of the lack of suiting replies Tweek was stupid enough to give his struggles away with running his hand over his neck in a shy gesture, his gaze uncomfortably at the desk.

“Look, Craig, just...,” he sighed, “order your hot chocolate, okay?”

“How about I order a coffee to the hot chocolate and you sit down with me for a while?”

Tweek's eyes narrowed at Craig. This guy just wouldn't stop, would he? They would stand here for hours arguing like that. In his annoyance Tweek snapped, because enough was enough.

“Yeah, sounds nice.”

Craig's eyes shot open in surprise shortly and a grin of real joy formed on his lips, “yeah!”

“I'll sit down here and you'll deal with the customers for me. Good idea.”

Craig’s brows furrowed, “Is that sarcasm?”

“No, I mean it,” Tweek said in the most sarcastic tone he could offer, “and now order your fucking hot chocolate.”

Craig laughed, and Tweek was so fixated on his own annoyance that this reaction was kind of unexpected. It set him a step back.

“Okay. Bring me my fucking hot chocolate, Hon.”

“Don't call me this!”

“'Kay, sweetheart,” Craig grinned.

Gah! This guy was driving him nuts. What a damn ass. Tweek didn't ask him what else he'd want beside his beverage this time; he didn't want to hear any other flirting asking for his phone number or whatever.

He stomped away, his mouth twisted under his mutters and he thought about to deny Craig any service. Maybe he should just throw him out of the coffee shop.

When Tweek brought him his beverage all Craig said was “thanks, sweetheart.” and like the times before Tweek left without looking at him. At least Craig didn't try to hold a conversation with him this time.

When Tweek came to stand behind his counter again Craig was looking at him for a while, that stupid smile on his face, before he opened his textbooks. Tweek groaned, that damn kid would stay for some hours to do his homework again. He slipped down at the ground and sat there, hidden away from Craig's intense eyes behind the counter.

 

***

 

One hour. Longer even. One hour and around twelve minutes had passed. And the duration of that time span had been filled with Craig wiggling and toying his pen inside his left hand more often than he had been actually using it. When he was using it his tongue stick out of the corner of his mouth, like the cute young boy that he was. He would scratch his head through his hat and it would stay slanted for the next quarter of an hour until he finally scratched his head again and readjusted it.

Something of him was drawing Tweek’s attention and he couldn’t help himself but let his eyes land on that kid regularly and notice all of those details. That his notes quality would waver with the speed of him writing them down. And the short moments he had a flow or the long moments he was frustrated. Also the moments he wouldn’t take notes but doodle. Though Tweek couldn’t see what he was doodling with the distance of the room between them.

So he did appear again. And despite his alibi of being a good college student, the obvious real purpose was to be able to watch Tweek. Because often, or rather, repeatedly, out of nowhere, Craig lifted his head and looked through the coffee shop until he found Tweek. Whenever Tweek witnessed this he immediately looked away. Even though it was of no use as he could feel the attention given to him and all his muscles stiffened when he had to keep up his routine despite being watched. Though, when he walked his rounds around the booth to serve the other customers sitting there he made a point about ignoring Craig.

Craig was a stalker. Though a stupid one, if he was searching for Tweek at the bar, but missed the chance to simply ask his friends. Or an incredibly clever one, as he had better resources than to be so obvious as to ask Stan and Kyle. Tweek would probably have to change his name and leave the country. Or find a good exorcist to get rid of the spell Craig’s name had put onto him.

Because the new habit of turning his head to a particular customer happened so instinctively, it must have sneaked into Tweek’s subconscious and disguised itself as normal thing to do. As reasonable thing to do. And this time when he complied his urge to look at that kid Craig was already staring at him.

Craig's dark eyes were large and even in their unfocused stare had an intensity that made the distance between them vanish so there was nothing else beyond them. Craig was distracting him from his work just as much as he was distracting that kid from his homework. And this time Tweek didn’t shy away and let his stare bore into Craig, like maybe he could do that mind-control trick on his own and tell him to go away. Stop making him feel itchy and unnerved and confused. Stop stalking him.

Craig bit his under lip and this time when he looked back at his notes he was slightly blushing.

Jesus.

How dared he to be cute? How dared he to be so damn alluring? To appear here and distract Tweek all day long? Shit. Did his mind-control message even reach him?

Tweek poured himself a cup of coffee when Bebe appeared next to him and filled the counter with fresh pastries. When he looked at her she was practically beaming.

“What?” he asked, his eyes narrowing on her.

“Nothing.” She grinned, placing the last pastry under the glass and standing there, just smiling.

He sipped from his coffee, attention drawn back at that college kid. He was doodling again and after side-eying Tweek and noticing that he was watched he looked back into his books.

“Bebe?”

She hummed, letting him know he had her attention.

He took a moment to consider how to phrase his question.

With enough sleep that night his head was clear enough to understand that this college kid was no murderer. That his own mind was playing tricks on him. And after all Craig hadn’t appeared at his flat yet, even though he knew Tweek’s last name by now. So maybe his judgement had been wrong. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him regarding Craig in general and he wasn’t following Tweek with his eyes and wasn’t bewitching him this whole time long. Tweek wasn’t sure.

“Craig doesn’t want to murder me?”

“Of course not, Tweek. He’s just a new regular.”

“But then, what is he doing here?” He remembered her saying ‘he want’s something totally different.’ And even though it might had been obvious what she had been implying, it wasn’t obvious to him.

Bebe laughed light-heartedly. “ _What_? He has a huge crush on you. I’m sure he’s drawing cute little hearts into his notepad.”

Tweek flushed. Also a lot of ‘buts’ appeared in his head. Like that explanation was way too easy. And maybe that explanation was even worse. And maybe Tweek would have to find an exorcist and leave the country anyway because an infatuated stalker could be just as dangerous as a stalking serial killer.

Holy fucking shit, he had an admirer. And the only logical reaction to that realization was denial, because no fucking way could Tweek have an admirer.

“No way.”

“Well, he’s flirting with you, isn’t he?”

“But that’s him trying to trick me.”

She chuckled, “for what purpose?”

“The hell do I know?! He wants to get me to trust him, so he can backstab me.”

“Tweek, did it ever occur to you that maybe he is actually meaning what he is saying?

“But he’s stalking me?!”

“Is he?”

“Well, he sits there.” He gestured with his hand for emphasizing. Being fully aware of how weak his argument was.

“But, is he _really_ stalking you? I mean, did he appear anywhere other than the coffee shop? Like your flat or so? Is he following you around? Did you receive strange or intimidating messages?”

Bebe leaned against the counter and Tweek felt her intense gaze heavy on him. His face was set into a frown. Mostly because she was right. None of that had happened. All Craig ever did was appear at the shop. He was pushy in his ways, but not intimidating. So Tweek shook his head, slowly.

That didn’t mean it couldn’t still happen, he thought.

“Tweek, I know you have issues with trusting people, but try and look at it objectively. You had a one-night stand and now he apparently has a crush on you. But all he does is appear at the coffee shop and ask you for a date. Of course he wants you to trust him, because he likes you.”

Tweek was still frowning.

“And he trusts you as well. Don’t you think you should at least try to trust him and his intentions? You’re missing on giving him the chance to treat you differently than the people in your past did, you’re missing out on giving yourself the chance to make new, better experiences and give him the chance to prove himself. You told me you wanted to get better, so make it possible for things to get better.”

Like this wasn’t putting any pressure on him. Holy shit, what kind of expectations did she have for him? He was frowning even harder. And he was terrified. Her ideas were terrifying.

Worst of all was, that again, she was right!

“Hey,” she said in a caring tone. Tweek felt a sting of anger for her once again. “You can do this. I know you can. Give yourself some time, such changes don’t happen overnight. But at least think a little bit about it, okay?”

His shoulders jittered, and the pleat between his brows hurt. He tried to breath and of the tightness in his chest he recognized he was scared. It was fear he felt. Cold, naked fear. And that kid was reading in his book, not even suspecting anything he made Tweek go through.

“Okay,” Tweek forced himself to say. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and when he reinforced his statement, he felt slightly better, “Okay.”

He wanted to hug her. Hug it out until his muscles relaxed and he would realize there was no reason to be scared. To feel safe and if it was only for a couple of minutes. She smiled, and he looked at the ground when she made it back to the kitchen.

What if Bebe was a traitor? She gave him advice that sounded nice and all, but she just wanted him to trust Craig so Craig can backstab him.

Tweek rubbed his forehead. Those thoughts always gave him a headache. Instead of hugging it out he tried to massage it out and remind himself of all the nights they had hugged it out. Of the reasons he trusted her.

New customer arrived and forced Tweek to make his way to their booth. On his way he tried to get a glimpse at Craig’s notepads to see if there were any hearts drawn, but the glimpse was too short to be sure about what he saw doodled next to his notes. And after making a point of ignoring him before, he couldn't suddenly look too intensely. Craig might be able to pick up on it and try and talk to him.

Tweek worried his lip between his teeth once he was back at his register. His mug was empty once again and he worried about when Craig would finally leave. His shift would end soon and if Craig would stay for that long he’d might leave the moment he saw Tweek leave and would try and follow him home!

The teen sat there and looked rather bored straight ahead. Maybe he was lost in thoughts. He side-eyed Tweek once again before he closed his books. And he did so very leisurely. Like he didn’t actually want to leave. His hat was slanted again, so he readjusted it and when their eyes met Tweek jolted out of his stare. Time to cash him up.

When Tweek approached him Craig's eyes were trained at him.

“So; you, me, Harbucks?”

“You ow me 2,99$,”

“If you don't like Starbucks how about another coffee shop?”

Tweek bore his stare into Craig. Craig's eyebrows heaved and Tweek wanted to do something, anything, to convey his annoyance. To revenge the anxiety he endured. “And 5$ tip for annoying the shit out of me.”

“Wow. Have mercy, I'm just a college student.”

Tweek stared and Craig did give him eight dollars even through his complaining. When he looked at the amount of bills Tweek felt suddenly guilty, a 5$ tip really was too much. He furrowed his brows and contemplated about giving him back the unnecessary high tip.

“I'd rather spent my birthday money on going out with you.”

Tweek grumbled and lay the five dollar back at the table. “Keep your damn tip.”

He went back to his counter. It was said as a joke, to watch Craig's stupid reaction and as a payback for his own annoyance. Yet all he managed to do was to annoy himself even further. And that kid grinned triumphantly when he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t like the ending of this chapter, but editing is a never ending story, so whatever.


	7. lovesick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guys, this had been sitting in my drafts since march, I had been planning to update on my birthday, but now it's august and I'm sorry to let you all wait so long.  
> I make slow progress, but hey, one chapter every 6 month isn't that bad, is it? xD ahahaha.  
> Sorry
> 
> On a side note:  
> Someone willing to help me improve my ideas? Maybe become my alpha reader? I’ve got some logic fail issues with this story and need someone to discuss them. Also discussing this will help me alleviate anxiety induced due to my perfectionism. As alpha reader you get spoilers cause I discuss the whole script with you, but you get to read stuff first and help me make important decisions so you’re an significant part of producing this. Also you can say if you want to stay spoiler free for certain aspects. (like, I dunno..) I’d like someone who is critical and has a little understanding of mental health issues.  
> you can hit me up through tumblr so this comment section doesn't get cluttered. (see my profile for tumblr link)
> 
> aaand, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!   
> for sticking around, for liking this story, for leaving so many comments, and for not giving up on me and this story and for writing comments even after a long hiatus, this is a big help cause those comments really bring my attention back to this story :)

Tweek sat at his couch with his lights dimmed and no sounds enabled. His devices that normally offered him so much distraction looked very uninspiring today and he wished for something else to distract him. A dog maybe, like Tommy, he could cuddle and play with, and forget. He considered to call a friend, an old friend he hadn’t talked to since forever, but when he scrolled through his contacts imagining talking with either of them felt as uninspiring. Impossible even.

Gravity pulled heavy at him when he felt his exhaustion in every bone and everything Bebe said to him today repeated in his head. He couldn’t stand it, so he took a sleeping pill and waited for his mind to forget about the day.

Then the days repeated themselves. Wednesday was a mirror of Monday with an unsatisfied anticipation and no Craig around. Whenever the door chimed announcing someone entering Tweek would turn his head to look if it was a familiar blue hat.

Though when his shift ended he hang his apron at its hanger without tossing it into the dirt first. And at night he jerked off twice. Not because he was particularly horny but so his body would be so exhausted that he slipped into sleep before the existential crisis took a hold of his thoughts and kept him awake. Though, even though he hadn’t intended to think about this in the beginning, he might had cum to the thought of a particular voice calling his name. He captured four hours of sleep that night.

Thursday was just as bad and Tweek had to keep his hands busy and if he was just cleaning up something, so he wouldn't bite his nails. It’s been one whole week he realized to his dismay. One whole week since Craig turned eighteen in his shop and took control over his life and thoughts. And even though his life before hadn’t been that happy either, this week had been torturous. Bebe’s words had tortured him just as much. Try and trust him. And try and make an effort of your own. How was he supposed to do any of this? Just thinking about it was stressful. And in his frustration he turned those feelings into aggression. He realized he would have to do something about this. And it would be in his best interest if this something wouldn’t include smashing Craig with his fist like he really wanted to do.

In the evening then it finally happened, the thing he had been dreading all day long. Craig appeared. He saw him through the glass even before the doorbell chimed and even though he had been so sure to get rid of him this day Tweek ducked down behind the counter to hide the moment Craig entered the shop.

Tweek heard the door chime and could imagine the casual way Craig sat himself into his favorite booth even without seeing him. He closed his eyes to concentrate on controlling his breath and for one sacred second he was able to drown out everything around him and just breath.

When he opened his eyes his vision was clustered with Bebe’s stern expression. She was way too close to him and with the counter at his back he had no way of escaping, so panic prickled in the pores of his skin and the crease between his brows hurt from his frowning.

“Tweek, you can't hide behind the counter all day!”

“But I can try,” his pathetic voice answered defensively.

“Is this because of Craig? Go and get his order, I'm not here to remind you to do your job, man!”

She starred angrily at him and Tweek got angry himself. How dare she disturb him like that, when he was just about to do what she had said anyway?

“Okay, okay, jeez” he juggled his weight back at his feet and stood up like she did as well.

“You know what I really don't get?”

“What?”

“I mean, I know things like that take time, but, why are you afraid of strangers in the first place? Didn’t you take boxing classes since, when? Middle School? I mean, yes you haven't trained in some years, but I'm sure you could beat up whoever tried to fuck with you nonetheless.”

Tweek looked away from her, his eyes fixated on a corner of the counter. He subconscious rubbed his forearm. Actually, he had started boxing in elementary. Only he stopped in Junior class of High school, so haven't trained in 'some years' was a real underestimation. The two month he had started and then stopped training since living in Denver didn't count in his eyes.

That wasn't the point, though. He wasn't afraid of being captured or beaten or whatever physical hurt. Well yeah, he was afraid of getting murdered, that was a physical hurt. But the truly intimidating thing was social interaction. Society’s demand of having to deal with people. Talk to them, trusting them. Giving up fractions of oneself, peel off personal layers while the risk was so high cause still they could turn against you at any moment, expected or not. They could be liars and fakes and traitors.

“I know.” He said, and his mouth dropped as he suddenly felt very small. The truth was he didn’t get it himself. “But that's the thing with anxiety, it’s not that logical.”

Like when he was afraid someone could sneak up at his balcony, even though he lived on the third floor. Or his living room to be wiretapped by the government. Or the passengers in the bus to be able to read his mind, even though something like that was impossible in the first place.

“Yes, but they get worse unless you try to face them.”

“I know. And now shut up, I already said I'd go and get his order. Jeez.”

He gave her one last disapproving look before he started walking towards Craig.

He wasn't anxious because Craig was a stranger, a potential killer. He also wasn't anxious because he disliked the way Craig flirted with him. The real reason why he wanted to hide and never look at this situation again was because he was confused. He was confused of his own feelings and his own thoughts and of the strange attraction Craig radiated like gravitational force that was drawing him towards that kid.

A younger version of him would have a lot of terms to describe this. Naive and romanticized explanations of how this was meant to be. Something like fate. He would recognize his obsession as infatuation. He liked Craig. Simply.

Tweek almost halted in his tracks when he realized that Bebe was right. Not only had Craig a crush on him, the other way around was true as well. He liked him. He fucking liked him. That's why all of this was so terribly troubling to him. He didn't understand _why_ he liked him. It didn't make any sense.

At their first meeting it was pure sexual attraction, a simple meaningless fuck. The short time of rubbing genitals against each other wasn't sufficient to evoke feelings that were actual emotions instead of physical needs.

He might have thought of Craig as nice, and their evening as enjoyable, that made sense, otherwise they wouldn't have gone so far. Yet the mature version of him he was living now knew things like that weren't that simple. And attraction wasn't the same as infatuation. And attraction didn't justify to be reckless.

“Hey sweetheart.” Craig greeted him and Tweek just stood there, his stern gaze at Craig. He watched those gorgeous mahogany eyes focused on him. And he saw the small hinted smile on Craig’s perfect lip bow. An itching spread over his neck like it did when he met Craig in the bar.

They stared at each other once again and like a thunder it hit Tweek that this wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. Craig would keep appearing and he would keep demanding things from Tweek he wasn’t capable of giving him. And he would flirt and watch him and doodle those stupid hearts and Tweek would never again have one minute he could spend in peace if he let Craig get away with this. If he let Craig continue to control his life like that.

By that realization, a twinge of anger stung his heart and gave the ugly naked fear room to settle there. All the consequences and demands hidden under the little word ‘crush’ were threatening him. He needed to end this before the infection would become something serious.

Craig looked at the desk, apparently enough time has passed in which Tweek just stared angrily at him for Craig to become self-conscious. He shied away from their stare and then he folded his hands and kneaded them like maybe he was nervous.

“Okay. Sorry. I’ll stop calling you sweetheart.”

Tweek still didn’t answered him and Craig must feel very unnerved by this so he looked back at Tweek. His smile was gone.

“Come on, don’t be mad at me.”

Tweek felt heavy, like he was breaking out in a cold sweat, his arms and legs numb and his body sore to the core.

“I want you to leave,” he finally managed to choke out.

Craig’s brows twisted into a frown. “What?”

“Stop stalking me!” Tweek’s voice was so alien he didn’t believe he was talking.

“I’m not– “

“Leave!” Tweek repeated. Craig’s eyes got large and he had such a hurt expression Tweek never believed he could show emotions like that. Craig turned his head and his eyes wandered, his hands still kneading.

“So, you really can’t stand me?” he asked.

Tweek’s stern gaze faltered and guilt-ridden he looked at the desk. The silence weighted heavy between them. The crease between his brow burnt.

There was the sound of a very frustrated sigh and Tweek couldn’t help it but to find his gaze at Craig again. He twisted his mouth and the sadness in his eyes almost poured over the desk he was looking at. Tweek swallowed and felt his own heart sink to his stomach when Craig stood up from his stool.

“Okay,” he said, his broken heart on his tongue.

And then he left and when the doorbell chimed it was too late for Tweek to say that he didn’t mean it.

 

*Craig’s POV*

 

Craig sat at the stairs outside the dorms, a cigarette lit between his lips. The fourth of many he’d burn today. The smoke filled his lungs but missed to fill anything else.

The hurt, the hollowness, the disenchantment. Within all that anguish there was still longing. Craig groaned and slouched forward. What did he even know about this guy that he wanted to be with him so badly?

He was shy Clyde had said, he probably was. And nervous, too, with the way he always looked around, never really keeping his eyes focused on the same spot and his body moving awkwardly and stiff like there was no muscle that wasn’t tensed and hard as stone.

He was shy and hesitant but could be very sassy. It was kind of funny to see him hesitate and then snap anyway. Despite being clumsy he was good in building stuff, even those that required a steady hand. And his flat had been spotless, thought he wasn’t as tidy with himself, with his bitten nails and wrinkled shirts and chaotic hair.

And despite his shyness he worked as waiter, he chose a career path that was pushing him and his boundaries. Maybe that was enough to classify him as brave. If he would’ve just surrendered to his introversion he’d chosen another career than greeting and serving strangers all day long.

Tweek had such contradicting characteristics. He seemed to always sit on both ends of the spectrum simultaneously. A real hot ‘n cold character.

What else was there? He could be very demanding when there was something for him to gain. Craig’s cheeks flushed when he thought about the way Tweek had given him commands during their night. God, that had been sexy. He dwelled in the memory for the moment a breath lasted, before reality took over.

Tweek had been lying when they met. Though he could never had planned for them to end up in bed and choose the wrong name on purpose for exactly that reason? Tweek didn’t look like that kind of easy guy. And he had been so cute during their morning. A bit awkward maybe, but very kind. Only when they realized the age gap he had changed his attitude. Funny how they both made the same mistake with assuming the other person to be twenty-two years old.

The age gap. Craig thought about the change in Tweek’s attitude on that morning. Did he believe Craig to be a little kid, if he saw the age gap as that much of a problem? ‘Stop stalking me.’ Craig almost huffed off the absurdity.

Even filled with toxins Craig’s chest felt incredibly hollow. And the hairs on his neck stood like they could reach out to this guy and fill this emptiness.

It was not fair. To fall so easily for someone so withdrawn. What did he even know about this guy? Like really know? Despite that he created those stupid butterflies inside him?

He knew that the thought of Tweek made him tingle and his mouth corners fucking betrayed him with staying upside all day long. He knew that there was something delightful in looking at him. In talking with him.

Tweek was a guy who had many contradicting characteristics. He was fascinating and almost demanded to be explored in his depth.

Craig took another drag from his cigarette.

What if Tweek was this kind of guy? If he had planned it to be a one-night stand from the very beginning? If he sat in another bar calling himself different names to foreign man each week? That’s why he never called and that’s why Craig’s sudden reappearance caused him distress. Craig supposed he wasn’t entitled to judge him if it was that way, though he couldn’t let go the hurt he felt in his chest.

It didn’t make a difference anyway, he got rejected the third time now. He might be stubborn but he wasn’t dumb. He got the hint. There just was no chance for him. He had to forget about this guy.

Craig stood up and stomped at his cigarettes butt. And while he did he envied the little flattened filter that was to lay on the ground for the rest of its life. Stomped over, not cared for; the filter was so lucky.


End file.
